A Face in the Shadows
by Kandimoon
Summary: I've rewritten the prologue cause I wasn't satisfied with the old one. I've also posted the epilogue! I hope you enjoy it, please review and tell me what you think! I'm not sure what I'm going to write about next so I'm open for suggestions! Thanks!
1. Default Chapter

A/N: Well I've decided to rewrite the prologue cause I just didn't like the other one.  Two chapters in one day how great is that?!!!  Rewriting the prologue AND posting the epilogue.  Tell me what you think of the revision, or even the story in general!  Also if anyone has any requests for a pairing I'm open to new ideas…I'm not positive who I want to write about next so I'm open to requests. Thanks a bunch!

~Kandimoon

"What happens to the wide-eyed observer when the window between reality and unreality breaks and the glass begins to fly?…"

_-unknown_

Prologue

The graveyard was such a peaceful place at night.  The moon's silver beams shone brightly on the great stone memorial.  So many people were buried beneath this hollow ground…so many souls were lost to us that day.  It was a dark time for our world, the Wizarding world, and even for the Muggles that lay unsuspecting in the villages and cities around us.  No one ever would have guessed that one single person could ever cause such destruction on our every day life, but he did.  His name was Voldemort…it's been twenty years since I've heard that named even whispered among the crowd.  No one likes to talk of him, for his name is still feared among the survivors of that fateful day, those fateful years.  Yes…twenty years has passed, I haven't been back to this place in such a long time…not since the memorial ceremonies of those taken from us in that final battle between good and evil.  But what was good and evil anyway?  I've read somewhere that in every good there is evil and in every evil there is good…is that true?  Did Voldemort contain even the smallest speck of good in his inhuman being?  I guess it's not my place to say, for in truth I've only witnessed a few of his destructions…but I have heard of so many others from those who have witnessed them.  I suppose he once was good…for all of us are born innocent, only in life are we taught fear and pain and betrayal…we learn those things from those around us. 

         "Hello lover…it's been awhile." I said to the gray headstone.  Gray…such a light pale color; just like his eyes…he always had such beautiful eyes.

         This graveyard was very special, still is very special to those of my world, to the world of the Wizards and Witches.  People all around the world owe their very life to those who were buried here, for these people gave their lives to protect others.  

         As I mentioned, those were dark times; dark because of the rising evil that threatened our world once again, and dark because of the lives that each individual lived.  We lived in constant fear, never knowing where the next day would take us, not sure if we would even see the next day.  Yes, those were dark times indeed.  I was a face amongst the shadows of the world during those times.  My life has always been far from perfect…wrong you may say?  No, I just let everyone believe what they saw.  I acted like the perfect daughter of a large loving family…but I was only wearing a mask…I never let anyone see the pain.

         I know I'm getting ahead of myself, but I still need you to see what my life was like _before_.  Before what, you may ask?  Well I'm getting to that…

         I was the youngest and only daughter of a poor family, poor but highly intelligent.  There were so many of us that our parents rarely had time to spend individually with us…there was always something to do or someone else to pamper.  I was always overlooked in my family…especially as a child.  How can anyone compete with a family full of successful wizards and prefects?  I grew up in their shadows…never being able to make a true name for myself…not until very much later in life.  Everyone always knew who I was everywhere I went, for my features (mostly the red hair) were quite distinctive.  But no one truly cared how I was, though they always asked, they wanted to know how perfect prefect Percy was, or how Charlie was faring in Romania, or how Bill was doing in Egypt, or even how Fred and Georges new highly successful joke shop was coming along.  They even started asking about Ron and his plans after school and how was his friendship to the most popular wizard of our time, or how his girlfriend the smartest witch in school, was; but no one cared about me…and that was fine for a time.

         "It's been so long lover, I'm sorry for my delay." I whispered once again to the headstone, knowing it couldn't respond but still not caring.

         Yes, it has been a long time since I've seen this place, since I've seen him.  Twenty years…twenty long years since he was taken away from me.  He was my heart, my soul.  

         I suppose I should explain why I'm here now.  But to do that I must take you back in time…back over a span of twenty years…back to a time where a lonely girl grew up…a lonely girl who was just a face in the shadows…and the man who showed her the light.


	2. Chapter One

"As I close my eyes

"As I close my eyes 

_Steady my feet on the ground_

_Raise my head to the sky_

_And though time rolls by_

_Still I feel like that child_

_As I look at the moon_

_Maybe I grew up_

_A little too soon."_

_-Mariah Carey_

_ _

Chapter One

"Ginny go sit down it's almost time." Molly Weasley shouted from the next room.I raised an eyebrow; I was shocked she still noted my existence.

"Mum where are Fred and George?I know they're going to plan something awful and I will not have them ruin this day!" 

"Relax Percy I just sent them out a few minutes ago to get your father.Ginny I said leave." She repeated.I didn't want to upset her nerves anymore than I already have so I did as I was told.It seemed to be a pattern I was quickly learning to despise. 

It was the "grand" wedding day of my older brother Percy Weasley.Mum's favorite son all grown up and starting a family.She was so proud of her genius, hard working, and wealthy son.Me, well I was a disappointment to the family.Why you may ask?I mean being the only daughter of seven children you would think I was treated like a princess, how wrong you are.No, I was the poor daughter of a lower middle-class family, who had no aspirations in the world.My parents were upset because every Weasley knew just want they wanted to be in life, but not me.Bill and Charlie found jobs right after Hogwarts, one working for Gringotts in Egypt and the other chasing dragons in Romania.Percy, mums little angel, was hired by the Ministry of Magic after they found out the results of his N.E.W.T.S test.Mother threw a celebration party that lasted all day and night when he informed us of the "good" news.

"Now you and your father can work together." She explained with a bright smile and a loving hug.

"Ginny, aren't you excited for me?" He asked me that day.My stomach turned and I had to hold in the bile that threatened to rise in my throat.But I faked it, I always did.I was Ginny, actress extraordinaire. 

"Of course I am happy for you big brother.Congratulations." Ten minutes later I found myself in the bathroom throwing up the solitary piece of toast I ate that day.

I thought things might have been getting better after that.Fred and George were not that great in school, but they still had plans for their joke shop, and of course they made it big within a year of the grand opening.I never really bothered with them; they were nearly dead to me after they left home.Moved somewhere down south to a big city and now have 20 stores spread worldwide.They don't bother to come visit anymore, barely even remember to write to mum every once in a while.I didn't care though; I rarely cared about anything these days.

Ron was a different story.I thought for once I had someone I could relate to.Here was a brother close to me in age and grade wise and he had no idea what lay ahead for him in the future.I was so thrilled!But I was horribly mistaken when he announced after his 6th year of school that he wants to pursue a career as an Auror, and received high scores on his O.W.L.S.That was my breaking point I think.It was at that moment I realized I would never be the same person I was before.I was broken inside, broken and alone and all I wanted to do was sleep.But sleeping cannot escape the realities that lay ahead, and no amount of dreaming can bring back the innocence that was lost that day.

"Ginny, you look so lovely!" A voice exclaimed from the seat behind me.I turned around to see the face of my older brother, his girlfriend, and the 'Boy Who Lived'.

"Thank you Hermione." I replied.Quick and to the point has been my motto.I never spoke unless given a reason.People called me shy, I called them ignorant.

"So Gin, ready to start your 6th year?" Harry asked.I once had a terrible crush on him.But really what teenage girl didn't?He was a smart, attractive, well-known hero and an incredible Quidditch player.But it was still a crush, and in my fourth year I got over it quickly when Seamus Finnegan asked me out.Our relationship only lasted a month or two, I really don't remember all that much.I broke up with him for a 5th year transfer student, a mistake that I regret with each breath I take.

_"Hello Ginny." He said to me one night after we snuck out to meet in an old unused classroom.He was sinfully handsome and I was told to be immensely lucky to be dating him.His eyes were a dark brown and his hair was even darker.Perfect eyebrows rose in greeting and rose lips met mine in an electric kiss.But happily ever after is only a fairy tale, and this was not prince charming._

__

_We got in a fight earlier that day.He accused me of still loving Seamus and I told him he was mad.Why would I want a guy like Seamus when I had this incredibly "perfect" boyfriend already?But we still fought, and he was so much stronger than I was.The halls were bare and the students and teachers were tucked in for the night.At first it was only verbal…_

_"You slut, you still have feelings for the guy!I saw the way you looked at him today in the Great Hall.Do you think me that stupid?"_

_ _

I denied it of course.I was innocent.I may have glanced at Seamus but that was because he was talking to my brother, who was in turn trying to get my attention from the other end of the table.

_"I was trying to get my brothers attention Tom!" I screamed back to him.I found myself on the floor with a cut lip only moments later.My body shook with fear and rage, a battle that lasted only minutes before he tore my clothes and raped me._

_ _

__I never told anyone.No one would have believed me anyway.He was this perfect student, a role model among others and I was his willfully "perfect" and "happy" girlfriend.It didn't matter though, he transferred a few days later and I never saw, or heard, from him again.I considered that one of the few blessings in my life.

It took me a few days to finally pull myself together.Too short a time you may say?Not really.I figured there was nothing I could have done; no amount of hating will change what has been done, so I moved on.I created a bubble around myself.I let no one in, and no part of me went out.It was, in my mind, the ideal arrangement.Selfish you may say, maybe I was.But in my fourteen year-old mind I thought of it as my way of protecting myself.It has been nearly two years since that dreadful day and the memory still haunts my dreams at night.I'm weak; I know it and I accept it.I let that bastard take away every childish notion of love and happiness that I ever felt, and still I did nothing to stop him.I haven't been able to look at myself in the mirror same way since.I let him win.

I was about to reply to Harry's question when the conversations suddenly stopped and music began to fill the late afternoon air.Penelope Clearwater walked down the small isle seconds later with a radiant smile and a gown fit for a queen.Jealously stirred its ugly head in my thoughts as I watched bride and groom join hands in front of the minister.I looked around at the flowers and decorations that hung and streamed from every corner of the room.My parents and Penelope's went to great lengths to make their childrens wedding a momentous occasion.Not even Bill's wedding the previous year compared to the intricate detail and financial cost of mother's favorite child.

The ceremony was beautiful, weddings usually are, and the reception following was adorned with delicious food and romantic music.The very idea nearly disgusted me.I figure I've paid my due by at least showing up, no one said I had to stay.The reception was held in our backyard (because of the space and also to save on money).Mother went all out on the decorations and at first glance you would never have mistaken our house as a shambled two-story shack.Fairies adorned the high columns set up at certain areas of our yard.Tall Greecian Ionic columns woven intricately with vines and lilies, the very idea must have cost a fortune, but nothing is too expensive for Percy.

I passed the table where the caterers were in the process of arranging pate on sterling silver platters and crystal glasses filled with flowing red wine.Voices of guests were nearing closer so I grabbed a glass of wine and headed for the trail that led into the forest behind my house.Everyone would be too busy congratulating the happy couple to notice a short sixteen year-old 'child' not there.I was invisible to them, invisible to myself in some ways too I guess.But it didn't bother me, I was far past caring anymore; I was numb.Unbelievably numb and dead to the pain that has consumed my soul these past few years.Maybe it was always with me, since I was a young girl begging for my mothers attention.'Me, look at _me_ mum, I'm right here!'

_"Mum guess what?I got an A- in my Potions class this year."_

_"Mum you'll never believe it.I received top marks in my class on the N.E.W.T.S!"_

_"That's great Percy!This calls for a celebration, a party for my bright young man!" _

_"Mum?I got an A…aren't you happy for me too?"_

_"I'm sorry dear I missed what you just said…"_

_ _

__I guess I had to face the fact that day that everyone would always be better than me.Especially mother's favorite golden child, her perfect little son.I wanted for once, just once, see Percy make a mistake, for him to do something that would make him seem _normal_, _human_.But that would never be, for how can you make a mistake when you're perfect?Perfect Prefect Percy, Head Boy of his class and top official in the Ministry of Magic.Just recently married and off to spend a luxurious honeymoon in the Bahamas sipping cocktails out of million dollar glasses. 

I suppose one would say I'm jealous, maybe I was too, long ago.I've learned to accept what fate has given me though; I've learned that I will always that quiet _nobody_ in a family of _somebody's_.But I don't mind it too much anymore, truly I don't.This will be Ron's last year, and by then I will be the only child left in the family going to school, I'll _have_ to be noticed…won't I?Maybe once Ron leaves home to be an Auror Mum and Dad will pay attention to their baby, their youngest, their little girl.Next year, next year will be my turn in the spotlight.Next year I will be the one that gets good grades and receives a party for my accomplishments.Maybe I'll even get a job, one far better than a mere official in the Ministry of Magic, maybe I'll be famous and travel the world.Then I can come home on holidays like Fred and George and Charlie and have wonderful stories about the places I've been to and the sites that I've seen.I'll even find someone to love me, someone who'll buy me a sparkling blue diamond engagement ring and place white roses in my hair, just like in my dreams.Then I'll start my own family, though not as big as mine, and I can bring my children here where my parents can pamper and coo about how darling they look.And maybe one day my kids will go to Hogwarts and meet friends and partake in their own adventures, just like my brother and his two best friends. 

And maybe one day I'll stop living in a world of impossible fantasies…


	3. Chapter Two

"Well I guess she closed her eyes

"Well I guess she closed her eyes 

_And just imagined everything's alright_

_But she could not hide her tears_

_'Cause they were sent to wash away those years_

_They were sent to wash away those years…"_

_-Creed_

_ _

Chapter Two

I don't remember how long I hid in the forest, protected by the shelter of the tall forest pines.I'm not sure either how long my oldest brother stood behind me waiting for his acknowledgement.

"Thought I'd find you out here hiding from the crowd." Charlie began as he came to sit beside me on the fallen log.I scooted over to make room for him.He, like the rest of me and the rest of our family, has bright red hair and pale freckles adorned across his entire face.It gave him an innocent boyish look to him, which rumor says, drives the women crazy.One thing Charlie or Bill never lacked was female attention. 

"I just needed some air." I replied 

"It's weird you know.Bill getting married last year and now Percy.Rumor is Fred and his girlfriend Adara are thinking of marriage and it's only a matter of time before Ron announces his and Hermione's engagement.Our family is growing up and moving apart so quickly.It won't be long before you graduate school and move out into the world."

A great pressure was building in my chest as he mentioned my graduation.I still had this coming year and next of course but the reality of it all seemed to be overtaking my senses, and I couldn't breathe.

"So how is dragon hunting going out in Romania?" I asked him, desperate to change the topic of conversation.If he was curious about the sudden change, he didn't announce it.

"It's going good.Had a few close calls with injury but that's all part of the job I guess.How are things going here at home?"

I wanted to tell him the truth, desperately wanted to tell him of the pain, the neglect, the fear of failure that has weighed down upon my slim bony shoulders.I wanted to scream the truth to him, make him no, force him, to understand what my life has become.I wanted to shout to the world that I was alone, that I was dying, that I just wanted to _belong_.'I am Ginny Weasley, I am your child too!'

"Things are going great.It's been hectic with the wedding and all, but otherwise nothing new to report." I had to bite my lip so hard it began to bleed to keep from telling him the horrible, ugly truth.I tasted the copper of my own blood pour down my throat as I swallowed the proof of my own weakness.I was a disgrace to the name Gryffindor.

"Any boyfriends I should know about.You know so I can do the older brother thing and beat them up." He smiled.I paled, nausea was a constant beating in my stomach and I wasn't sure how long I'd be able to hold it in this time.

"Are you okay Ginny?You seem a little pale." He continued.I glanced over and smiled as far as my lips could stretch at the moment.Replays of that night two years ago flashed over and over in my mind, the way his hands ripped and tore across my pearl skin, the sound of false accusations and lies escaping from his lips.I didn't fight back that night; I laid there like a limp rag doll at the disposal of an uncaring child.

"I'm fine Charlie.I'm just getting over a small cold that's all.Why don't you head back to the celebration, I'll be along in just a few minutes.I need to sit just a while longer." I told him, pleading with my stomach to hold it in until he leaves the area.

"I'll see you back there then." He replied and took the trail back to the house.As soon as he was out of earshot I doubled over in blinding pain and surrendered to the bile that rose in my throat as memories replayed over in my mind.It was as if I was a prisoner to my memories, and I was in for life.

By the time I walked back to the party most of the guests and the bride and groom, were nearly gone. Mother was flittering around with her wand beginning the long task of clean up and Father was talking to Penelope's father about some new Muggle technology that they've discovered.Fred and George took off to their store in New York some two hours previous, which was all and well because I was not in the mood for any of their practical jokes at the moment, and Bill and Charlie were taking off as I merged through the back door of our house.

"If you're looking for Ron and the gang they went downtown to pick up something for mum.They looked for you to see if you wanted to join them but I told them you weren't feeling well.I'll write to you later sis. Bye."And with that Bill and Charlie Weasley apparated into thin air.I knew I should stay and help my parents clean up, but I wasn't feeling all that social and frankly all I wanted to do was sleep.School begins in less than a week and I wanted to get my last hours of freedom in before going back to 'prison'.

"Ginny, be a dear and help us with the cleaning." My mother bellowed from two rooms down.Maybe school wasn't my only prison after all.It seems as though my prison is all around me, consuming me, eating away at my outer shell as if trying to expose what I've spent my life hiding.

"Yes Mum." I replied back to her.I didn't want to stay in this house any longer; I needed the freedom and openness of the forest outside.I wanted the shelter of the trees and the lulling sound of nature to engulf me and sweep me away from this place.But no, that would never happen, so much for wishful thinking Ginny.Being a child means being a slave to your elders, and I was already a slave to life in general.But I obliged my mother's wishes and decided to start with the kitchen and putting the leftover food into storage containers.An hour later the 'Three Musketeers' returned from their trip downtown and came in to the kitchen to help with the cleanup, mother's orders.

"Some party eh Ginny?" My brother mentioned as he came over to put an arm around my shoulders.I hated when he acts like the loving sibling in front of his friends; I hate fakes.

"I suppose so." Not mentioning the fact that I didn't stay longer than ten minutes during the entire gathering.Though I doubted they really noticed anyway, too absorbed in each other to care about the lone stray of the group.

"I didn't catch much glimpse of you Ginny.Were you mostly indoors?" Hermione asked while flipping her long curly brown hair over her shoulders.During Hermione's fifth year she started relaxing her bushy hair thus causing it to curl and fall down to mid back.Also her once beaver teeth were now perfectly straight and even.Hermione, I found out a few weeks ago, was made Head Girl for this year along with Harry Potter as Head Boy.No one was truly shocked at finding out this information for Hermione was incredibly intelligent and Harry was cunning and very practical.If it were not for my brother being so hung up on her, I'd imagine Hermione and Harry almost as a perfect couple.Almost like Percy and Penelope…

"For the most part." I replied to her.I felt bad lying, she really was a great person, though a bit over obsessed with her grades and all.I respected her I guess you could say.She was every first years' role model and often times at night I found myself incredibly jealous of her success.I mean, here is a mudblood whose family has not one drop of magic blood in them, and she excels as the highest student in Hogwarts.It was remarkable!I spend the past five years struggling through some of my courses and I grew up in a full wizard home.I have six older brothers for goodness sake!Everything seemed to come so natural to her and here I am jealous as all sin.

"So are you nervous about school Ginny?" Harry asked me, for the second time that day.I tried to hold in the emotions that nearly fell out when Charlie asked the same thing earlier.

"Not too much I suppose." I replied to him.He is still as sinfully handsome as he was 6 years ago when I first met him.I was just an innocent ten year-old then with a crush on the most famous wizard of all time.He was the "Boy Who Lived", was responsible for the weakening of the most evil dark lord of our time.And yet he had no clue for the first 11 years of his life, who he really was.Now Harry Potter, Seeker extraordinaire, is at the top of his class and is rumored to be seeing a short, blonde-haired 5th year Ravenclaw named Sarya.

"So how's the boyfriend doing?You still with that Tom guy?" Ron asked me.For the second time that day I paled as the nausea rose up my throat.'Not again, please I beg you, not again.'

"We broke up, a while ago.I'm surprised you didn't notice." No I'm not, I wanted to add, but didn't dare.My hands began to shake as more flash backs resurfaced.

_"You're messing around with him aren't you?Or maybe it isn't Seamus after all; maybe you want that Potter kid instead.Is he better than me Ginny?Answer me you stupid whore!" Tom shouted as he slammed the door to the deserted classroom and placed a soundproof charm on it.He was a bastard, but a clever bastard._

__

_It was dark and the light from his wand only showed a shadow of his face.I didn't speak, was too afraid to after the first punch connected with my jaw, the next with my stomach._

_ _

_"I love you Tom, only you I swear." I stuttered, forcing the words to escape my swollen lips._

_ _

_"Lying bitch.You're nobody Ginny Weasley, nobody do you hear me?You will never be your brother, you will never be perfect and smart and good-looking.You're no one."_

_ _

__"Excuse me, I think I'll go on up to bed now.Goodbye Harry and Hermione, I'll see you on the train next week I'm sure.Goodnight Ron."I made it to the bathroom with only a few seconds to spare.I thought there was nothing left in me to get rid of, but I was wrong, I usually am.

He was right now that I look at it.He knew even then that I would be nobody in this miserable world of ours. Maybe I deserved the punishment he laid on me that night; maybe it was the price to pay for my failure…

Maybe it's me after all…

Sleep didn't come easy for me that night; it hardly ever does these days.I kept thinking back and reliving an alternate universe.What if I was the golden child in my mother's eyes?What if I was the smartest, the prettiest, the fastest, the most popular?There were so many what ifs that every hour I would wake up sweating and at times it felt so _real_.I could _feel_ the love of my mother as she kissed my cheek as a reward for getting straight A's.I could _hear_ the crowd cheering me on my winning goal, and our recent victory over Slytherin.When I looked in the mirror I even thought I _saw_ a new and prettier me staring back.But in the morning it was just a dream, they always were.They were just a glimpse of what life will never be like, and I had to accept that.School will be starting again very soon and there would be no time left for silly kids dreams.No time to think about the 'what ifs' and the 'could bes' of my life.This year I would study and I would become a better student, a better witch.

So why couldn't I bring myself to really care?…


	4. Chapter Three

"She was numb

"She was numb. She felt nothing except a vast emptiness inside her, stretching infinitely in all directions.And that was good.She never wanted to feel again." 

_-The Night World_

_ _

Chapter Three

The days passed, as they always seem to do.I didn't do much for the rest of my summer vacation, just caught up on some Muggle reading that I was addicted to.I was now reading a book of poetry by Robert Frost, an incredibly talented poet of this century.My favorite poem (as cliché as it may seem) is 'The Road Not Taken'.I felt _connected_ to the verses for some reason.I could almost relate to it in a way.In the poem he talks about taking a path in life that is different than other peoples, and that was exactly what my life was like.I am not like my brothers'; I wasn't going to grow up and be smart like Percy, clever like Fred and George, brave like Ron and Charlie, or cunning like Bill.I was just some nobody, who took a path not led by anyone before.But where Frost considers this in a more positive outlook, mine is more negative.Mine is more real.

The day soon came for the infamous Weasley family trip to Diagon Alley for school supplies.Not that I'd be getting much, all my books and other collectibles were always hand-me-downs anyway. But still my mother thought it would be nice to go out for the day, maybe if I got my hopes up I would get a new dress robe.Though I doubt that day would be arriving any time soon given the amount of money they put in for Percy's wedding.

Mother let me wander around on my own, though I think it was just to get rid of me personally.I didn't mind; I needed to be alone to think.I slipped out of Diagon Alley as soon as I had the opportunity and headed for the Muggle bookstore that was down the street.A sanctuary for me really, a place I felt a belonging to, a haven.

I never understood why some wizards hated anything to do with Muggles.To me their entire world was far more fascinating than ours, though I'm sure they'd say the same about the wizard world.My best grades in school came from Muggle Studies and well, Potions.I'm not sure why I was so good in those two areas, only those two areas.Muggle science has always intrigued me, and potions you could say is almost like the equivalent to chemistry.Measuring chemicals or in my case "items" and creating something helpful, or dangerous.I imagined if I were a Muggle teenager I'd pursue a career as a chemist in one of those universities and continue on to achieve a doctorate.Too bad there was nothing like that in our world.I suppose a potions teacher or researcher is similar, but you need better grades than mine to become one.I just wasn't smart enough in any other subjects unfortunately.

"Hello there Ginny, haven't seen you in here for some time." The storeowner said as he came out from behind the counter to greet my arrival.His name is Mr. Sinclair, a seventy-year old retired journalist from London who opened this bookshop about ten years ago with his wife.He knows me by heart now for I come here every chance I can, even if I have to sneak out of the house to do so.He has always treated me like a grown-up, never looked down on me, and always had a special treat or a new story to tell me when I arrive.I love him more than my own father, and yet I am not so ashamed to admit that.

"Hi Mr. Sinclair.I know I haven't been around, my brother's wedding was last week and things have been hectic.Any new arrivals?" I asked while glancing at the new release shelf.Mostly his store contained older material, classics really, such as Shakespeare, Dickens, Sophocles, Plato, and various other authors from all different time periods.But within the last two years he has been collecting newer works of literature from authors all around the globe.He's even taught me how to read Ancient Greek and Egyptian, though my favorite was Latin, surprisingly.

"So how did the wedding go?Awful as I hoped?" He joked, I told him of my brothers' perfections and of the problems I have at home.I trusted him with nearly everything, and he's always been a shoulder to cry on.

"Unfortunately no, it was a wedding out of a fairy tale, down to the floating fairies and beautifully tailored gowns.Though I was tempted to spike the wine just a bit more to see what it would be like to see everyone drunk.But I was a polite and ditched the entire reception instead." I said with a smile. I felt comfortable telling all of this to him, for he understood.As a child he came from a poor family too and worked hard over the years to be one of the best in his field.His writing is spectacular and as much as Mrs. Sinclair and I have tried to talk him into writing a book, he's refused.

_"I read enough of them, I don't have to write them too.It's the thought that I could if I wanted to, that counts.But it's nice to have the support of the two most important women of my life.Thank you." _He once told us, we left the argument at that.

"Ginny my dear, oh it's so great of you to stop by!" Mrs. Sinclair shouted from atop the stairs.Their house was located right above the bookstore for convenience.Some times, depending on the time of day, they would invite me to stay for a meal or even overnight.I've done the first and declined the latter.I didn't think my mum would really approve of me staying at a "strangers" house overnight, even if I did care for them more than my own parents.

She walked down the old stairs that creaked under her figure.She was once a beautiful woman, and still is in my opinion for her beauty comes not only from the outside, but also from within.Her slim figure grew out into a more rounder, motherly size and her grayed black hair has been pulled back into a tight bun.Her eyes were what always fascinated me though; they were a mix of gray, green, and blue, almost like a sea during a storm.She walked up to me and gave me a sound hug and a kiss on the cheek.

"I'm always happy to see you Mrs. Sinclair.I'd stay longer if I had the time but I have to be back in a little bit.I just dropped by to say hi and see what's new."I told her.She looked a little hurt that I couldn't stay longer, but then smiled and was happy to be able to see me for at least a short time nonetheless.

"Well love we just got a new book on the poetry of Tennyson.He wrote mostly about Ancient Greece and I know how much you love ancient history…" She said; my eyes lit up at the good news.

"I love all history, all studies from all over the world!" I laughed and ran to see the book I would soon be buying.I never carried too much money on me, but since my obsession with the muggle world I've made it a habit to collect a couple pounds here and there.

"I knew you would love it!" Mrs. Sinclair smiled and walked over to her husband.They've been married now for fifty years, since he was twenty and she seventeen.I envied their love sometimes, and often I found myself dreaming that I was their child, their only child, instead of the only daughter of seven children.The Sinclairs only had one child; he died in his thirties from a car accident.His name was Steven and after his death his wife and daughter moved back to the United States to live with her parents.Every now and then the wife and daughter came to visit Mr. and Mrs. Sinclair, and once, last year, I met their granddaughter.Her name is Haley and is a year younger than me in age and has dark brown hair and her grandmother's stormy eyes.She was incredibly nice to me and I was sad to see her off. Every now and then when she writes to her grandparents she'll send me a greeting and ask how things are going.I always answer the same to her, I lie and tell her everything's great; I don't want her to upset or worry over the insignificant happenings of my life.Besides, she doesn't know I am a witch, only her grandparents do.

"I really must be off now, but it was great to see you again Mr. and Mrs. Sinclair.I promise to stop by as soon as possible.I think our first Hogsmeade trip is three weeks into the school year so I'll see if I can sneak down." I said and gave them each a hug goodbye and walked out the door and back to Diagon Alley, back to hell.

Last year I added the Sinclair's fireplace to the floo network.It took some convincing but I argued to my father that there were certain books I might need for my Muggle Studies class and so he agreed.Now, every so often when I get a chance, I use the fireplace in the Gryffindor common room to sneak back to the Sinclair's store and see them.They knew I shouldn't be doing it, but I tell them I'd do it with or without their consent.Though I've never heard them complain when I show up and visit every now and then.

"Ginny where have you been?Mum and Dad have been looking for you for an hour!" Ron shouted as I walk into the streets of Diagon Alley.Hermione and Harry are right behind him and I try, for their benefit, not to sound too annoyed.

"I've been out, they told me to go walk around so I did.If they wanted me to be back at a certain time they should have told me." I told him.He just continued to stare at me for a bit so I turned around and started walking towards Flourish and Blotts where my parents are now standing, awaiting our arrival patiently. 

"Ginny Weasley when I said you could go off on your own I didn't intend for it to be for the entire day!Now we'll be late getting back for dinner…" Mother continued to rant and rave as we headed to the fireplace to go home.I tuned her out after she forbad me to eat dinner and to go straight up to my room.I didn't mind; I don't eat at all really.Haven't in some time.

As we neared our destination we passed Lucius and Draco Malfoy and as one sneered the other glared.I glared back at Draco as we passed each other; our two families have never gotten along, ever.

"Slimy git." I heard my brother curse as he spotted the two Malfoys walking towards us. 

They continued to walk past us without stopping to say anything, which I was thankful for.

As we arrived home I walked straight up to my room and went to sit at my sad excuse of a desk.The wood is now weathered and chipping in more than several places and the single candle that sits atop it has been melted down to a few inches.But nonetheless I still loved my room, for it was my hole to crawl to when everything becomes too much to handle.I walk over to my small vanity and sit upon the small plush covered stool.I stripped off my robes and threw them on my green comforter, then glance into the mirror.

I've changed so much in the last two years.My freckles have reduced to just a few small specks glittered upon my nose, but my skin was still as pale as ever.My red hair, once full of volume and life, is now limp and stick straight, and dull.Some would say it was because I haven't been eating, I say it's because my hair now reflects my personality, dull, limp, and lifeless.

I glance down at the dagger resting peacefully on my dresser.Charlie bought it for me four years ago as a souvenir, it was said to have belonged to a powerful witch in the 1400's.The blade has not diminished over the years, it may have dulled in color but the blade was as sharp as ever. I picked it up as I contemplated things that shouldn't be running through a sixteen year olds mind.My stomach then growled in hunger and I soon feel dizzy from exhaustion.I am slowly fading, but I couldn't let my body win.I grabbed the dagger again and nicked my pale skin two inches above where wrist meets hand.And I let the blood flow down my hand as crystal tears fell down my face, and suddenly I knew my world has took another wrong turn.

It was another step closer to dying…


	5. Chapter Four

"I'm afraid you deceive yourself

"I'm afraid you deceive yourself.You are not by any means free.You are only looking out of the window of your prison, as you call it. The doors are locked, just the same."

_-Harold Frederick_

_ _

Chapter Four

I heard my alarm ringing loudly in my ear at its usual time.I didn't really need it though; I never really fell asleep last night to begin with.My trunk has already been packed for a few days now, and I'm sure the rest of the family is up and eating breakfast before we leave to go to the train station.Breakfast in our house used to be a tradition, until of course Percy moved out.Now mother only places some toast and pastries on the table in the morning and when you wake up, you ate, simple as that.Well, simple to those who ate of course.I don't try to eat much anymore, too many memories of _him._

_"You know Ginny, you really should lose some of that baby fat you have.It's not healthy." Tom said as we walked around Hogwarts grounds one afternoon. _

_"I've been trying for a while now Tom, it's not that easy." I replied; trying not to sound too hurt to the boy I "loved"._

_"Just stop eating or something, everyone does it.When you loose the weight, you simply start eating again, but not as much.Models and actresses do it all the time, it's normal…expected." He replied.Maybe I was getting too overweight.It was something that never crossed my mind before…_

_ _

__He used to tell me I was pretty, right before he'd slap my face and tell me my looks should not be important to our relationship.I never really understood him at the time; I was so naïve then.But I understand him now, it was all so clear to me.I was too pretty and he didn't want me to break up with him for another guy.But being pretty was not enough, especially now.Now I have to be thin, thin and beautiful just like the models he talked so much about.I would do that for him, for he deserved at least that much.Then one day I can look back and say "I am Ginny Weasley" and people will remember not what I haven't done, but who I was as a person.How many times are people in our society remember for their brains?Do muggles turn on the television and recognize an actor because he is a _good_ actor, or because he is a _good-looking_ actor?Is our society today not about beauty and the goal of perfection?Percy is smart, so why couldn't I be pretty?I deserve that much don't I?

"Ginny get up and down here before we leave without you!" Ron bellowed from the bottom of the stairs.He was just anxious to see his girlfriend and best friend; I however have nothing to look forward to except a long train ride alone.Maybe this year I will have a cart all to myself.

And maybe this year I'll become a prefect…

For once luck was on my side.I can't really say that all too much, for luck was never something associated with my name.But once we arrived at Platform 9 ¾ I grabbed my bags and hurried onto the train to claim the first available cart for myself; Ron, Harry, and Hermione left to sit in the front of the train with the other prefects and seventh years.I, myself, preferred the quiet peacefulness of the opposite end of the train.

I placed my bags around me as if to warn off anyone who might want to come in and sit down; I wasn't in the mood for company at all.With my new book in hand and a small bottle of water, I relaxed and began to read about Demeter and Persephone.My door opened a few minutes after the train left the station and without glancing up I politely told the intruder to get lost.

"I don't know many girls who read Tennyson, or any Muggle writings for that matter." The voice continued, not adhering to my offer for privacy.

I recognized the voice, could pick it among a choir of others if need be.His pale hair was slicked back as usual, but much shorter in length than previous years.His eyes still held the same pale silver-blue tone and were now imbedded into my own dark ones.

"I'm not in the mood for company Draco." I continued without looking up a second time to see the sneer on his face.

"And why not?You haven't been yourself lately Ginny.Something's eating away at you; I can feel it.Don't think I can't recognize the signs?You're pale, more so than usual, far too thin for your height and you're much quieter than the Ginny that started here five years ago.So what's going on Ginny?Boyfriend dump you, parents abusing you…"

"You don't know a goddamn thing that goes on in my life Draco Malfoy.I don't owe you or anyone anything!" I nearly shouted while throwing my new book onto the seat and fisting my hands at my side.His eyes grew wide suddenly, as if he discovered a great secret in his mind.Within seconds he grabbed my arm and I tried to hide the pained look in my eyes and his fingers clenched down on my soar wounds, but he saw my flinch and knew.

"So you're a cutter too?Should've guessed.Signs all point to it, anorexia, depression, isolation…"

"Leave Draco, just leave.You wouldn't understand a thing.I'm fine, so what if I had an accident.They happen all the time and there is nothing you can say to anyone to prove otherwise.Who would believe you anyway?Do you think one of the professors will take your opinion over mine?Ha!Save yourself the trouble and don't even bother mentioning it.I know what I'm doing and I am completely in control." I spat at him.'So why does that sound so much like a lie?' 

"I'll go, but know this Ginny.I'll be keeping an eye on you, you can count on it." And with a sneer and a flash of black, Draco left the small confines of the compartment.

He can never prove it, and he's knows it too.I am the quiet daughter of two noble parents, and he is the son of a Death Eater.Of course Dumbledore would pick me over him, even if he didn't come out right and say it.But his words did sting, and were very true.He knew, or at least he thought he knew.I will have to be more careful from now on, I cannot let my emotions get in the way of my actions.If Draco began to suspect then others might as well, and I can't let that happen.

And why did Draco care what happens to me anyway…?

I pulled the overgrown sleeves of my black Hogwarts robe back over my hands.Surprisingly this robe is not as threadbare and most of the others in my trunk.Most of my robes for school came from Bill and Charlie and have been handed down through the years.Seeing as how I am the youngest and the smallest in our family, most of my clothes were too big for my figure and had to be altered to fit my height. I never altered the sleeves though; I preferred to have them hang past my hands so no one could see the scars on my arms and question me about it.It was safer that way.

The woman who normally pushed the cart of treats through the isles of the train has been replaced with a middle-aged, gray haired, pudgy woman with a kind face and a full smile.When she stopped at my compartment I politely shook my head in decline.

"Are you sure luv?You look a bit pale and much too thin.A couple of Chocolate Frogs and some Every Flavor Jelly Beans could cure that right up." She happily replied.I decided I'd buy a few of the Jelly Beans, maybe on of the girls in my room would like them for later.

"You enjoy the rest of your ride luv," and with that she was gone as quickly as she arrived.

Her words echoed in my head for the remainder of the train ride.No one else decided to bother stopping by, most have forgotten of my existence by now.I guess it's my fault for that though.Since I was a bubbly air-headed first year, I wanted to be popular, attractive, and smart just like my hero at the time, Harry Potter.And until my fifth year I was all of that too, well minus the smart part.It took me till my third year to be known among the other houses as perky, cute (in the elfish sense), and well known.I had a number of friends from all years in several of the houses and I was no longer looked at for my last name.I was a _somebody_ then, and I was so happy.But my mistake came in my fourth year when I dumped Seamus for Tom, and by the beginning of my fifth year everyone seemed to have forgotten of my existence.I became the quiet, unattractive nobody that I was before I started at Hogwarts and to me that was just fine.What did I need friends for anyway when I've gotten through life well enough without them?No, I was much better this way; I was left to read my Muggle books alone. Always alone…

Forever alone…


	6. Chapter Five

"I think I'll go for a walk

Okay I thank you all for the reviews. I did warn you that the beginning was going to be dark, but I assure Ginny and Draco DO get together…they have to, I wouldn't have it any other way. ANYWAY…I do promise it will get lighter, I'll even throw in some humor to lighten the mood between the couple. Here's chapter five. I don't have chapter six written yet but hopefully I'll do it this weekend (so long as I don't have TOO much college homework.) Anyway thank you again for your great reviews…I appreciate it. Enjoy!

~Kandimoon

"I think I'll go for a walk.Maybe out in the rain.Maybe let the tears roll down my face and not feel the pain."

_-Kim Ferron_

_ _

Chapter Five

"Now students…" Headmaster Dumbledore began after the traditional house sorting ceremony for the new first years."Due to the rise of Voldemort, security will be doubled and certain rules will be enforced.As before the Forest is off limits and no one, except prefects and Head students will be allowed outside the castle after evening meal.Students fifth years and down must be in their towers by 8 p.m. sharp and the sixth and seventh years no later than 10 p.m.Another announcement I am pleased to announce, Professor Lupin has once again joined our teaching staff as the Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher." He replied while motioning to the brown-haired, blue eyed, werewolf who was sitting two spaces down from Dumbledore.I remembered him vaguely from my second year and a smile came to my face as I look back and remember the good times we had in his class.

He hasn't changed much in the few years that he's been away.A little gray tinted along his temples, but his smile was still as bright as ever.I had a helpless schoolgirl crush on him during that year, much like Hermione's obsession with Professor Lockhart that I've heard Ron tease about every now and then.After his departure the first time from Hogwarts, he moved away and ran into a girl he went to school with.Ron, Hermione, and Harry were invited to his wedding just last year, I wanted to go but declined the sympathetic looks that Hermione gave me when she found out I didn't receive an invitation.

"Now then, I suggest we eat up before all this wonderful food goes cold."The Headmaster finished and suddenly piles of food magically appeared before us.My stomach began to churn at the site of greasy, fattening delicacies that adorned the silver platters.I glanced up and looked around me after feeling like I was being watched.And I was…

Two tables down from Gryffindor, and about three seats to the left, sat Draco Malfoy with his fork in hand and his silver eyes watching my every move.I understood the look he was giving me, he wanted to see if I would eat.'Well Malfoy, you are about to get a rude awakening.' I threatened.

It wasn't as hard as I thought.All I had to do is push the food around on my plate to make it look sparse and then take small bites at a time.With each bite I hide the piece of food under my tongue, but eventually I was forced to swallow.Nausea bubbled its ugly head again and as soon as we were dismissed from the Great Hall I nearly ran to the girls lavatory.I walked out about fifteen minutes later, seeing as how I didn't consume much to throw up anyway.Without looking where I was going, I walked right into a student passing through the halls.

"I was wondering how long it would take you to come out." A sneering voice spoke from above me.Moments later a hand extended down to offer help from my fallen position on the floor.

I smacked the hand away as if insulted by the mere gesture."Get lost Draco, I told you I am just fine."

"See you would think that I would just mind my own business, seeing as how you're a Weasley and that my family absolutely despises you.But unfortunately for you, that isn't going to happen because you are not like your brothers and stupid parents, and I'm not like mine."

"What must I do to get you away from me Malfoy!Is this some sick joke to expose me to the world?Is this some kind of payback because of my last name?Are you looking for the satisfaction of being the first to tell the world that Ginny Weasley is a failure to her family?What sick and twisted joke is this Draco!"My face was nearly as red as my hair and I was greatly thankful to be in an empty hallway.Most of the students went to their rooms to unpack and the teachers have already retired to quarters to get ready for the beginning of classes the next day.

"Failure?A Weasley?The family of prefects?The poor family of two loving parents who pamper their perfect little children with as much as they can afford?Get real Ginny, what's your real game?Looking for attention?Is that it?You are the youngest after all, figured you be well seen.But then again Percy and Bill are above you, so what's the catch?Looking for the teachers to boost up your grades or something?" 

His words stung like a thousand needles being pricked along my pale skin.My stomach churned and my mind started to cloud over.Loving parents?Attention?Grades?I wanted to hurt him, physically hurt him, until he bled with pain.But I couldn't, I just didn't have the strength in me to do it.But I envisioned it, and that would have to be enough for now.

My face paled more so than usual and my skin went clammy and tinted green in color.I have to get away from him; I have to go back to my room where I'll be safe.And the dagger, yes, I needed the dagger.I needed to bleed, I needed to make sure I was still alive and this wasn't just a dream, a horrible dream.

"I'm going to go up to my room now Draco.I…Goodnight."And I left.I didn't see the concerned look on his face, or hear the quiet footsteps that followed me back to Gryffindor tower.I turned around as I gave the portrait of the Fat Lady the password (Hogsmeade).No one was there; the hallway was dark and empty, much like my soul…

I walked into my sixth year quarters.They were pretty much the same as they have been the previous five years.The only major change in the new room is the absence of two other beds.Most of the sixth years were prefects and shared a room with only one other student, and the rest of the sixth years shared with only two other people.Not a big change, but a much appreciated one nonetheless.My roommates were a pair of twins that transferred in our second year.They were incredibly nice and very shy around other people; but for the most part they've always left me alone and never asked questions.I was grateful for that.

Sleep wasn't coming easy for me that night.My mind replayed today's scene over and over until a migraine formed around my temples.'Why was Draco being so…well…not Draco-like?'It seemed unnerving to have the one guy I've loathed since my first year to almost _understand_ or at least _notice_ what is going on in my life.It still did not excuse the way he voiced things, and the false accusations, but well…Draco's never been known to even be descent around my family; none of the Malfoy's were.So why the sudden change in demeanor?

I knew sleep was not going to happen to me any time soon so I decided to sneak up to the Astronomy deck to think in the fresh air. My cloak was settled on the end of my bed so quietly I threw it over top of my long green nightgown and stepped into my slippers.I placed my silver dagger in the pocket of the gown.The air was crisp for this time of year but I was comfortable with my cloak around my shoulders.My eyes fell onto the inky blackness of the sky, which by now was glittered with bright silver stars and a pale crescent moon.Finally…peace…

"We seem to be running into each other quite frequently Weasley." A voice sneered from the dark shadows on my left.

"My name is Ginny, Draco, and you'd do well to remember that." I snapped back at him as he emerged from the corner.

"Attitude looks good on you, you know that?Of course you might want to put some weight back on those bones of yours.Guys don't date skeletons." 

"Go to hell Draco!I'm just skinny by nature…" I tried to lie, though I was aware he knew my predicament.

"You think I don't see through you Ginny?Do you think that I'm that blind!Look at what you're doing to yourself!When was the last time you took a real look in the mirror?"

"I don't!I don't look in the mirror because I can't stand to see the failure that looks back!Do you think I like this?Do you think that I wished for this?You wouldn't understand what I'm going through!I cannot buy happiness like you! I can't even get my own MOTHER'S ATTENTION!Do you know what it's like to wake up everyday knowing that no one cares whether I live or die?Do you know what it feels like to physically hurt myself and no longer feel pain?Did someone you care for ever tell how WORTHLESS you were, how imperfect.NO!You can never understand!Never!"Tears burned down my pale cheeks as my mind began to cloud up.

He just stared, kept staring for a few moments after my tirade.Suddenly more than ever before, I felt incredibly helpless under his gaze.It was as if he wanted to say something, but didn't have the words to say it.I felt sick, physically sick.Oh how stupid I was!I just told my enemy some of my deepest secrets, even if it was not directly.

"You think I don't understand Ginny?You're wrong.You are so very wrong Weasley.Do you want to try my life?Would you rather be the spoiled only child of the highest ranking Death Eater in the world and a good for nothing mother?Would you rather have grown up being bred to be the next first in command to the darkest creature to ever set foot on our planet in thousands of years?Do you think I don't understand why you cut yourself to bleed?To bleed to know that you are alive, that you still exist.You go home to a big caring family, and whether they tell you or not they still care about you.Want to know what I go home to Ginny?I go home to a gathering of the most repulsive creatures ever known as they congregate together to torture Muggles and weak Wizards.Want to know what they do with them Ginny?They place them in the middle of their circle and inflict pain, sometimes through magic, sometimes just through simple Muggle weapons.It's disgusting and every night I anticipate the return of school.I may not like it here, but at least I won't have to lie awake at night and wonder if I'll live to see another day.Sometimes the Death Eaters come to my room.They're drunk and they don't realize that their soon-to-be victim is the son of the highest general in Voldemorts army.Yes, they come up to my room and I get the hell out of there.Think I don't understand you Ginny?I understand more than you'll ever know."

I was speechless.Partly because of the amount of energy our argument has drained from me, partly because of the words that he said.For the first time in my life I wanted to comfort him, I truly did.I've never been the "touchy-feely" sort of person, but I wanted to hug him. 

"I…Draco…I never…" But I never got to finish my train of thought.Blackness formed around my eyes and before I gave in to the inky darkness I thought back to his words.

'Draco, I never knew…'

Maybe I wasn't the only one with a mask; maybe we all wear masks to protect the true self deep within…

I woke up to a poorly lit room that was unfamiliar to me.The drapes and covers along the bed were black and there was a large candle on the nightstand to my left.I was thankful for the dim light because my hand was hurting me as if a hammer was pounded consistently upon it.Suddenly a voice arose from the shadows in front of me.

"If you play a trick like that again, I'll be forced to take you to Madam Pomfrey, and I know you want to avoid publicity." 

"Where am I Draco?"

"My private quarters, I guess there's some good having such an influential and wealthy father." He snorted out his answer.

"What happened?Drats I have a headache…"

"You fainted to put it bluntly.It's a side effect of not eating properly, and loss of blood." The look on his face turned from anger to almost…concern.Well as close to concern that a Malfoy could feel anyway.

I didn't respond, I knew what he was thinking.He was priding himself in the fact that he was right and I, like always, was wrong.I realized just then that maybe I couldn't handle it alone anymore.But who would help someone like me anyway?Draco?No, he wouldn't, it would be against his nature.But the thought still lingered somewhere in the back of my head.

"Look Ginny, you need to eat.I wasn't going to force you before but if you don't eat right now then I'll be forced to take you to Dumbledore and he would then inform your parents.I know you don't want your little…secret…to slip out.So you'll do as I say, or you're not leaving."

"Why are you doing this Draco?One minute you're accusing me of being spoiled and wanting attention; then you accuse me of being naïve.What sick joke is this?Why can't you just leave me alone!"

"If I leave you alone you'll die Ginny!Think this little fainting spell was an accident?Soon you're skin would tint yellow, then after your insides devour every piece of muscle and fat cell in your body you'll go into a coma.From then you'd simply die Ginny, you'd simply just slip away little by little as you starve yourself.Think I'm the only one who noticed?You're wrong.I've heard people commenting already Ginny.'Ginny looks too pale.' 'Ginny seems to have lost a lot of weight.'And that's not all, I heard the teachers whispering amongst themselves.They're looking to talk to you if it keeps up.They're going to find out Ginny, and I then there's no way out of the publicity that you'll go through.People will talk, you'll be sent somewhere till you recover, and yes, even a nice little scandal will form.I can see the headlines of the Daily Prophet now."Ginny Weasley, only daughter of Arthur and Molly, was sent to St. Mungo's Hospital after being diagnosed with an Anorexia Nervosa."Then, if you think that's bad enough, you're brothers will suffer.Yes, perfect little Percy Weasley will take a hit with that one in the ministry.Who wants someone leading the ministry when they can't even help their own family? And then they'll come after you Ginny.You're family will shun and disown you for being a failure, for disappointing them.Think that won't happen?Try it, go on and try it Ginny.Stop eating, forever, let yourself get caught."

"You're lying!It's not true!It's not true…" I was in tears; I couldn't stop them from coming.I felt weak and tired and so incredibly numb.But damn him he was right!They would blame me and then everyone would know what a failure I am to my family.I collapsed back onto the black covers of Draco's bed and stared down at my own think hands.Was it that noticeable?Did people already suspect something?

"Look, I'm sorry I was harsh about what I said.But I'm not lying to you.I brought you some low-fat chocolate stuff to eat so you won't have to worry about your weight and it'll make you feel better.It's on the nightstand beside you." He turned to leave then at that moment and I tried to stop him, I didn't want to be alone, even if the company was one of my brother's worst enemies.

"I'm sorry." I spit out before thinking about what I was going to say. 

He turned around and raised one delicate golden eyebrow.I took that as a means to continue.

"I'm sorry I'm being such a nuisance to you.I know you don't want to help me, but I'm thankful that you are nonetheless.I'm also sorry for not realizing what you were going through at home.I've heard rumors and all, but I tried not to listen to them.I just assumed that everything was okay since you didn't seem too worried about it when you are here at school."

"In my household you learn to shield your emotions quickly; it's your only means for survival.Now eat, I'll return in a few minutes.I have to speak with Professor Snape about something." 

And then he was gone.I didn't feel ashamed anymore about eating the chocolate.I realized the consequences if I didn't.I couldn't let my life slip away like that; I couldn't lose control.I had to win the battle…

My life depended on it…


	7. Chapter Six

"As I walk this path of broken dreams Valued Gateway Client Normal Valued Gateway Client 3 88 2001-10-20T01:40:00Z 2001-10-21T22:21:00Z 3 1255 7155 59 14 8786 9.3821 75 "As I walk this path of broken dreams 

_I have a vision of a many thing_

_Happiness is just an illusion_

_Filled with sadness and confusion…"_

_         -What Becomes of the Broken Hearted_

Chapter Six

"You know you never answered my question." I asked Draco when he walked through his bedroom door about an hour later.  I was curious as to what business he had with Professor Snape at this late hour of the night, but I wasn't going to be nosey and ask him.  He was being so polite and I didn't want to spoil the mood.

         "I don't know why I'm helping you, I truly don't.  Maybe it's because I can't stand to see you suffer, maybe I'm trying to make amends for all the hell I've caused everyone all my life.  Maybe I'm just going crazy.  But there is one reason why I'm doing this, why I'm acting 'out of character' by helping my enemy's sister; I understand you.  I know what you're going through and I know that no one else in this stupid place will ever understand what horrors our lives have seen.  Think we're all that different?  No, no we're not.  Maybe in some aspects we are, but we are too alike, we know too much about life, real life."

         I was silent for a few minutes, digesting the information that he just gave me.  He was right, as always, we were alike.  We were alike as much as we were different; kindred spirits on a path to find their places in life.  Maybe we could help each other after all?

         "Draco?  Do you think things will ever get easier for us?  After school and the final battle with Voldemort, do you think we'll ever live normal lives?"

         "No, maybe for you things will get better for you have the potential.  You may think you're a failure Ginny, but you're not.  You're destined for great things in life; I can sense it.  Grow, live, and be happy, you deserve that much.  Me, well I'll always live in my fathers shadow, I can't change that.  I am his only heir and when I graduate here I will be initiated into Voldemort's elite circle as a Death Eater.  My father already has the date and arrangements set up for this June.  No, things will never get easier for me."

         He looked so forlorn that I couldn't hold back the two tears that slipped down my cheeks.  Why was life never fair!  Why did they torture the innocents while the ones who deserved to be punished got away clean!  Why can't everything just be perfect!

         "I don't think I'll ever live a normal life Draco.  I'm not destined for great things, there's nothing good I can do."

         "Ginny look at me." He prodded as I raised my own eyes to meet his silvery ones.  I loved his eyes, the thought scared me for a moment but I buried it deep within.  He was helping me sort my emotions, nothing more.

         "Ginny, you are smart and incredibly talented and don't ever let anyone tell you otherwise.  You may not be as book smart as your brothers, and your schoolwork may not always be as great as some of the other students but you exceed in areas where most students don't.  I've seen you reading those Muggle books; I know you enjoy them, and Snape's commented to me before how good you are in potions.  Use your talents Ginny; use them for your own benefit and for mankind's."

         "Snape's commented on my potion grade?  But why?  And why you?"

         "There are some things you don't understand about Professor Snape, and it's not my place to tell you them, I'm sorry.  But know this, he's not the enemy Ginny; he's a good man deep down.  He recognizes your talents and praises them, or as much as someone like Snape can praise, to me.  You have such potential, use it." He commented as he walked over to his dresser and pulled out a small green crystal charm and a small black one from the top drawer.

         "These two crystals were given to me by Snape a year ago when things at home started to get real bad.  They're a two-way detector charm, if you're ever in need just squeeze the crystal in your palm and I will sense through my black one if you're ever in trouble.  It might be wise to put the crystal on a bracelet or necklace or something so that you won't loose it."

         I took the small green crystal from him and conjured up a hemp necklace with my wand.  After placing the crystal between the threads of hemp, Draco secured the necklace around my neck.  

         "Thank you, I appreciate the gift Draco.  I really should be going back to my dorm though, someone might do rounds and notice I'm not there."

         He nodded in agreement and we snuck our way past the Slytherin common room and to a corridor down from the Potion's room.  

         "Tap the statue three times and a door will open up.  It should take you to a hallway near the Gryffindor entrance.  You'll still have to be careful of Filch and Mrs. Norris but by now they should be doing rounds near Ravenclaw so you should be safe.  Goodnight Ginny." 

         His next action shocked me, he grabbed my hand and lifted it to his lips in a gentle kiss.  My heart continued to beat rapidly even after I crawled back into my own bed.  

         'Why the sudden change in demeanor?  What was he gaining in befriending me?  And why did he have such a strange distant look in his eyes after he kissed my hand and bid goodnight?'

         My thoughts affected my dreams that night.  I wanted to curse him for making me think such lustful thoughts.  I promised myself two years ago I would never let another guy have such an effect on me.  I promised and it was working so well, until now.  He made me want to believe again, believe in love…

         Curse the boy!  Curse his deep silky voice and his incredible silver eyes.  Curse his kindness!  Curse the way he makes me melt inside…

         No!  I can't let myself be vulnerable again; my heart cannot bare such pain again.  My soul has already been ripped apart from my body and beaten to the point of despair.  I would not think such childish, naïve, thoughts about Draco Malfoy.  He was a friend now, and nothing more.  He would never become anything more…

         My dream was filled with blue skies, white clouds, and a castle looking over a distant horizon.  Everything was peaceful; everything was perfect.  

And Draco Malfoy stood before me at the edge of the cliffs and pulled me into his arms.

And we kissed…

         Sunlight filtered through the curtains of my bed and suddenly I realized that I had classes to attend to this morning.  After glancing over at my clock, I noticed I had twenty minutes to get dressed and go to Transfiguration.  Last night's memories flooded back to me rapidly but I pushed them aside; such inconsequential matters would have to wait until later.  The twins no doubt were still at breakfast, then off to their next class.  A loud thunderous tapping sound came from the window to the right of my bed.  A large dark colored owl swooped in and dropped a small green box onto my bed.  The creature didn't wait for any kind of reward and took off as quickly as he dropped in.

         The box bore the mark of Slytherin and a small parchment was attached on top of the green foil.  

         _Ginny,_

_Noticed you weren't at breakfast, I figured you'd have slept in after being up late last night.  Meet me on the Astronomy deck tonight around eleven._

_         D.M._

Quick and to the point, that was Draco Malfoy.  Curiosity over the box's contents had tearing the green foil a moment later.  Wrapped in delicate napkins were an assortment of pastries and a small container of juice.  I smiled at the thoughtfulness of the gift.  He wouldn't admit it, at least not any time soon, but the once cold distant Draco was slowly melting away.  

         I dressed and hurried off to my classes a few minutes later.  I passed Draco in the hallway after Transfiguration and gave him a slight nod to acknowledge that I have indeed received his gift and that I would meet him later tonight.  He smirked back in reply and suddenly my thoughts kept drifting back to last nights dream and silently cursed my mind over again for being so weak.

         I was still cursing during Muggle Studies and later into Herbology.  I wasn't paying much attention to what Professor Sprout was babbling on about and so I wasn't all too surprised when she took ten points from Gryffindor for my not knowing the answer to a question she asked.

         And still I was cursing at my childish notions when the houses all met for lunch and dinner.  During both meals I swear I could feel his silvery gaze bore straight into my soul.  I didn't dare look up and acknowledge his presence; it was too risky.  If anyone was to find out our secrets Draco would surely be killed by his father, and I'd be locked up at home or sent to my older brothers homes in Egypt or Romania.

And I was still cursing my dreams as I walked up to the Astronomy deck at ten minutes to eleven that night…


	8. Chapter Seven

"Don't be afraid to be weak, don't be too proud to be strong Valued Gateway Client Normal Valued Gateway Client 3 139 2001-10-21T22:22:00Z 2001-10-25T02:14:00Z 3 1517 8652 72 17 10625 9.3821 75 "Don't be afraid to be weak, don't be too proud to be strong Just look into your heart my friend, and that will be the return to yourself 

_The return to innocence…_

_Just believe in destiny, don't care what people say_

_Just follow your own way.." _

_         -Enigma_

Chapter Seven

         "You're five minutes late." 

         "I got…distracted." I replied to the shadowy figure as he emerged from the shadows of the night.

         "Distracted?  How so?" A small smile was playing on his lips and I wouldn't let him see how it was affecting me, I wouldn't give him that blasted satisfaction.

         "So what did you want to meet me here for?" I said, desperately trying to change the subject.  

         "Oh I'll tell you in due time.  I'm still curious about this distraction business."

         "I thought I heard Filch coming." I told him while tilting my face up stubbornly to meet his gaze.

         "You're a horrible liar Ginny Weasley.  I don't particularly like being lied to either." 

         My first instinct was fear, for I wasn't sure what kind of power he truly possessed.  If he didn't like people lying to him, he'd hurt them right?  Wouldn't he?

         "I was thinking; that's why I was late.  It was only a couple minutes, nothing real drastic."  

         "What were you thinking about?"

         "You.  You distract my thoughts Draco Malfoy.  You help me, willingly, and you make me forget things.  I don't want to forget, I don't like to repeat mistakes."

         I could tell I confused him for a moment or two because a quizzical look passed through his eyes.  But after a bit of time he seemed to understand, or faked it anyway.

         "You know why I'm helping you, why I'm being 'nice'.  As for the distraction of thoughts, well I can't really help that, can I?  I've been told I tend to do that to people on occasion."

         'How arrogant!' My mind screamed in warning.  The fool thought himself some sort of idol, some kind of god or something.

         "As for the forgetting past occurrences, well that's all the part of healing really.  I can't make you forget whatever's happened to you in the past.  I don't intend to make you forget for it's not something I can do.  Your past is what made you who you are today, a strong-willed, stubborn, and talented young woman.  You may not think so of yourself, but if you were as weak as you claim to be, then you wouldn't be here right now, with me.  You would have killed yourself long ago and you know it too.  You may have tried but you never would have followed through, something was always holding you back wasn't it Ginny?  Maybe you do belong in Gryffindor after all, for you do have a courageous streak in you whether you acknowledge that truth or not.  No, I won't ever try to make you forget what has happened in your past, but I won't let you repeat those mistakes Ginny.  You were weak then, you are strong now, and damnit I swear I won't ever let you go back to who you used to be!  Do you understand me Ginny?  I won't let you become a victim again I swear to you."

         He looked like an avenging angel; he sure resembled one in appearance.  I couldn't hold back the smile that formed on my lips at that moment.  He truly cared for me, aside from Mr. and Mrs. Sinclair no one has ever tried to help me before, no ones ever really wanted to.

         "What are you smiling about?" 

         'Damn I'm caught.' I thought to myself.  I wasn't going to lie to him though; he deserved the truth.

         "You remind me of an avenging angel, but that's not all of it.  You care, and I have very few people who care for me in my life.  Aside from Mr. and Mrs. Sinclair, you're the only one who's wanted to help me."

         "Who are Mr. and Mrs. Sinclair?"

         "They own a Muggle bookshop in London.  I've convinced my father to add their fireplace to the Floo network and I try to visit them as much as I can.  I care about them so much and I'm not ashamed to admit that I love them more than my own parents."

         He nodded in understanding.

         "I can understand that.  I don't particularly care for Muggles, but I don't agree with my father's teachings on how we should rid the world of them.  They have as much right to this planet as we do."

         "You must come with me to meet them Draco, they're great people.  They know all about our world, partly from me and partly because they are friends with some wizards in London.  They're truly great people."

         He seemed repulsed at the idea of meeting my two Muggle friends, but I wasn't too offended.  I had to remember that he was taught to despise Muggles and Mudbloods since he was born.  Nonetheless the look on his face still irritated me.

         We talked for a good hour about nothing and yet everything.  I told him about the Muggle books I've read and after some prodding, he admitted he's read one or two novels before.  We talked about school and some lighter memories from our pasts.

         "Draco?"

         "Yeh?"

         "I know you said your father has plans for you when you finish school and all.  But what if you had a choice in the matter, what would you do with your life if you could do anything you wanted to?"

         He looked shocked as if he never really thought of that possibility before.

         "I don't really know.  I suppose I'd be like your brother Charlie and go chasing dragons somewhere.  Dragons have always fascinated me, probably because of my name and all, and I've always wanted to travel.  See the world and all before I die I suppose." He looked away then as if admitting some kind of terrible sin.  I guess in a way you could say he was for his father would surely punish him if he found out his son's true aspirations.

         "What about you?  You at least have a say in the matter of your future, what are you going to do?"

         "I've never really told anyone this, but I think I want to work at a potion's research lab.  But that means staying in the Wizard world and there's been too many times where I keep thinking I might want to join the Muggle world.  It fascinates me, I can't explain why but it does.  I really enjoy what they call chemistry, which is our equivalent to potions.  They have doctors who research cures for illnesses and all different things in labs.  I can't help thinking what it would be like to just forget this whole life here, and start over.  No one would know me by my brothers' many successes and I could make a real name for myself.  I've talked to my friends the Sinclairs about my ideas too.  One time when I was fourteen I begged them to adopt me so I could have their name and then I wouldn't have to carry the burden of being a Weasley.  I'd be Ginny Sinclair and I'd make sure the world knew me for my accomplishments!  But that was just some foolish child's dream.  I still want their name; I refuse to stay a Weasley when I leave Hogwarts.  I think…I think I might move to the States.  They have some wizards and witches, but not enough to bother with.  I've read that for the entire population of the United States they only have two wizard schools, one on each coast.  I think I'll join a science research facility and between my magical knowledge and muggle technology, I think I can help them with their Muggle illnesses and cancers and the lot.  But I don't think that will happen, my parents would disown me for betraying my family.  I don't know how much more of their abuse I can take.  I want to runaway, runaway and never look back on this life.  I want to forget and move on, and damn the consequences.  I refuse to live in my family's shadow.  I refuse to be their pawn."

         It was eerily silent as we both contemplated the words we've just said to one another.  I was digesting the truth of his situation, the unfairness of his life, and he no doubt was doing the same about me.  We were a sorry pair to say the least.  

         "Ginny, I didn't lie to you when I said you were destined for great things.  I can understand why you would want to leave England and make yourself known some place where your families many accomplishments weren't weighed on you.  If I could leave I'm sure I would, but he'd find me anywhere.  He always manages to find me in the end.  But you could do it, you could leave and maybe your family would disown you.  But at least you'd be able to tell others that you followed your dream, that you made yourself known for who _you_ were not who your family is.  I suppose I should be repulsed by the idea that you'd give up most of your magic to live among Muggles, but you know what?  I think if I had the choice, and was in your position, I think I'd do it too.  I'd give up my money, power, title, and magic just to be normal, just to be human.  Just to be mortal…"

         "Draco.  Would your father punish you if he found out you were conversing with me?"  A pained expression crossed his face and I knew then that it wasn't only the other Death Eaters that tried to come after him.  His very father did too.

         "What goes on in my life is none of your concern.  Whatever consequences come from displeasing my father I will have earned and I will accept the penance."

         "You didn't answer my question though.  Will he punish you if he found out you are here with _me_?"

         "My father dislikes your family for numerous reasons.  He would no doubt bestow some sort of punishment for dishonoring the family name by betraying my father's wishes.  But I won't leave you, I'll take whatever form of discipline he sets upon me, but I'll still see you…still help you.  You have my word Ginny."

         "Draco?"

         "Yes Ginny?"

         "Things aren't ever going to be easy are they?"

         He didn't answer.  He didn't have to.  His silence was answer enough for the both of us.  Our families and others would never accept our friendship, but that made things even more special between us.  We were two lost souls in the world searching for our place in life, together.  I let his words repeat over and over in my head.  He was willing to go through torture to stay together, to help me.  No amount of punishment from his father could tear him away from me and I wanted to weep at the miracle that has been brought into my life.  Draco was my miracle; he was my avenging angel.  We were two different people with one thing in common; our past.  No one would ever understand us, very few would probably accept us, but nothing mattered anymore.  I wasn't worried for my future and I rarely thought about my past when he was beside me.  He made me forget the pain and the loneliness by sharing his pain and loneliness with me.  Separate we were two lost souls, but together we were two people with a common goal in life.      

         Our goal was survival…


	9. Chapter Eight

"The turning point in the process of growing up is when you discover the core strength within you that survives all hurt Valued Gateway Client Normal Valued Gateway Client 5 118 2001-10-27T01:02:00Z 2001-11-12T03:30:00Z 3 1978 11278 93 22 13850 9.3821 75 

"The turning point in the process of growing up is when you discover the core strength within you that survives all hurt."

_         -Max Lerner_

Chapter Eight

         The next few weeks proved to be as challenging as we both feared.  Our friendship was kept highly secret and no one, save a curious glance from Dumbledore every now and then, suspected anything out of place.  Draco monitored my eating habits from his spot from across the Great Hall.  Though he was always discreet about staring, I could still feel his eyes watching my every move without as so much as glancing up.  I started studying again for most of my classes, I'll never be as great as my older brothers, but I at least wanted to get through school without failing anything.  It was nearing Halloween and the house elves were in a frenzy decorating the school for the annual Halloween celebration.  I glanced over at the clock and realized I only had a few minutes to get to the dungeon for Potions.  I would never make it in time no matter how fast my feet carried me.  

         "Seven minutes late Miss Weasley.  Ten points from Gryffindor and detention." Snape snapped as I hurried to my cauldron to begin preparing today's assignment.  I glanced over at Raven, a soft-spoken Slytherin and my lab partner, to see what potion we were making.

         "It's some kind of sleeping potion, very powerful.  It's supposed to make the victim sleep for days and puts them in a coma like state.  Professor Snape explained that in the old days when Wizards wanted to trick one another to fake their deaths, they would drink this potion." Raven whispered softly as I poured a few drops of dragons blood into the cauldron.  Raven was one of the few Slytherins that I could stand to be around, aside from Draco of course.  She came off as being shy, but beneath that soft exterior was a stubborn, impatient, cunning young woman.  We weren't friends though, at least we didn't admit that to anyone.  It was unheard of for a Gryffindor and a Slytherin to be seen together and neither of us wanted to disgrace our houses.  But in class we were always civil and often whispered amongst ourselves childish gossip that we heard.

         "Did you hear your brother and Hermione had a huge fight the other day?" She whispered softly so that no one could overhear us.

         "No I didn't.  What happened?" I asked curiously.  The topic sparked my interests as soon as she mentioned my brother's name.

         "My cousin Kaitlyn saw Hermione storming out of the library shouting how stupid men are.  Rumor is that Victor Krumm wrote to her and mentioned that he was in town for a few days and wished to visit her.  But your brother got real jealous and forbid her to go see him.  Professor Lupin was in the hall when he heard the battle and took ten points from Gryffindor for disturbing the peace and locked both of them in his classroom until they ceased screaming at one another." She finished and began laughing. 

         "Why are you laughing so?"

         "Well, everyone was so curious about what was being said in the room that people gathered all around the door to listen to the screaming match.  When the couple emerged from the room Ron's face was bright red and his hair was completely messed up and his neck looked as if someone was choking him.  Hermione didn't look much better for her hair was standing on end and her face was flushed with anger and embarrassment.  Being Head Girl and treated like a five year old obviously took a hit on her pride."

         I began to laugh along with Raven for I can surely picture Hermione strangling my brother until she got her way.  As much in love as those two were, they still fought as much as they did when they were younger.

         "Miss Weasley, Miss Tanner, you are supposed to be working, not gossiping.  Now get back to work." Snape commanded from behind them.  Both of us blushed at being caught in the act and the other students soon turned around to watch us.

         "But Professor, we're done with our potion." Raven answered for I was still mad at Snape for giving me detention, though in truth it was my own foolish fault.

         He picked up the clear rounded flask, which now held our potion in it.  After a thorough inspection (I swear he was really trying to find some kind of fault with it), he placed the flask back on our desk and looked at both of us.

         "Very good you two.  You have managed to complete a highly advanced sleeping potion perfectly."  He sneered while giving us the compliment.  He was torn between praising a student of his house, and…well…me.  Truth be told Snape despised my brother and his two Gryffindor friends with a passion.  I know Draco informed me that Snape was pleased at my grade and effort in his class, but one would never know with the constant sneer on his face.

         "Ginny did most of the work sir, I merely assisted.  She knows far more about potions than I do." Though Slytherins were known for their pride, Raven still felt honor bound to explain the truth to him.  

         "Raven you helped far more than you give yourself credit for." I whispered to her, knowing full well that Snape could still overhear us.

         "Miss Tanner I am fully aware of Miss Weasley's accomplishments.  The bell will ring shortly so everyone take their potions and place them on my desk and then you are dismissed.  Miss Weasley, I'll see you at 8 o'clock tonight, here." 

         The day dragged on as it usually does.  I was still upset about my upcoming detention, but after receiving a high mark on my Muggle Studies paper, my mood was severely altered.  I decided than that nothing could spoil my good day, whether that be the constant glares from the Slytherins, the disappointed glances from my fellow Gryffindors, or the ever watchful stare from a certain golden haired snake.

         "I hear you have detention tonight for being late." A voice said from the shadows of the corridor I was walking through.  I knew the voice belonged to Draco the moment the first word left his mouth.  The hallway was deserted, and I was highly grateful for that; for in truth we had not been around each other for a few days and I was dying to be able to see him face to face.

         "Yes, I was seven minutes late for class.  I hoped to persuade him to change his mind once he saw the fantastic job Raven and I did on the sleeping potion, but he just complimented us and left." I replied to him as I joined his side next to a stone statue of a gargoyle.

         "What do you think he'll make me do for my detention?" I asked him, hoping he would have some kind of clue as to what type of detentions Snape gives out.

         "I don't know.  He's done a bunch of different punishments that I've heard of.  Manual labor mostly; cleaning or organizing something in his classroom.  Last week a Hufflepuff third year was given detention and Snape made him scrub every single one of the cauldrons until they shined.  But I can't really say what he'll do for you.  In truth I doubt you'll have a bad detention though, Snape thinks too highly of you because of your interest in potions and all.  Maybe he'll just have you organize the jars of something."

         "Gee what a way to spend two hours of my time.  I guess I can't really fault the man though.  I was late though in truth I was up real early this morning.  I must have just spaced out for a while and lost track of the time."

         "Ginny, I need you to promise me something." I was shocked at the sudden change of topic and the seriousness that arose in his eyes.

         "What's wrong Draco?" I was beginning to get worried.  His eyes, a normal brilliant silver, darkened to a stormy gray and tensed.

         "There are some things you don't know about many of the Slytherins, things I don't have time to explain to you right now.  And you may hear…rumors…about some of them that may or may not be true.  I know most people fear Snape, but you cannot listen to what others say about him.  If the time arises I shall explain to you the meaning of what I'm saying, but until that time I just want you to be aware.  Snape is not the enemy.  I am being summoned home next weekend, so are a lot of upper class Slytherins.  People are beginning to notice a change in my character and I fear they may be catching on.  I'm still going to help you Virginia, but we are not going to be able to be around each other often.  These are dangerous times with the Dark Lord rising in power each day.  They are speculating that by Christmas his power will exceed that of which it was before 16 years ago.  My father…" He paused for a moment as if the very thought was acid in his throat.

         "My father has requested my presence at our manor for a private meeting with Voldemort."

         "You cannot go!" I nearly shouted to him.  I had to lower my voice for fear of acknowledging our presence in the deserted corridor.

         "I must.  If I refuse to go then my father will know something is wrong.  I will be leaving next Friday after class." 

         "Draco you cannot put yourself in such a dangerous position!  He is evil!  More evil than anything in history!  What does Dumbledore say to your leaving?"

         "My father will be sending a letter to the Headmaster explaining that there has been a death in the family and that I am to return home immediately."

         "But you mentioned that other Slytherins will be leaving too?" I gasped at finally realizing what was going on.

         "The other Slytherins, they are children of Death Eaters too aren't they?  You are all going to be meeting the Dark Lord?  But what excuse will their families make at their leaving school?"

         "Surely you have noticed that all Slytherins are strictly pureblood.  We pride ourselves on that fact alone among other things.  Most families, surely you will notice just by looking at my two cohorts Crabbe and Goyle, in time intermarry.  Though the very thought repulses me, it is true.  My father and mother are distant cousins, which I am thankful for because in some families the relationships between the parents are far closer.  The other families will inform Dumbledore of our family's 'tragedy' and will therefore remove their children from school to attend the 'funeral'."

         I nearly gagged at the information that Draco was telling me.  Intermarried families?  How disgusting!  How absurd!  And just to keep up the pureblood line!  That's wrong!  Immoral!  My thoughts did not linger long, for my concern suddenly focused back onto the problem at hand.  Draco was being forced into the serpents' den.

         "You know I must go, I have no other choice.  I promise to return to you.  No matter what kind of torture my father or the Dark Lord inflicts upon me, I will not let them destroy who I am.  I will not give them that satisfaction." His scowl was back in place and for a brief moment I was looking back at the old Draco Malfoy.  His words comforted me though; in heart I knew he cared deeply about me, even if he wouldn't admit that feat out loud.

         "I would never let them take you away from me."  I replied to him with just as much anger in my voice as was in his.  He smiled at my threat against the two most powerful people in the world and I knew my threat pleased him.

         "I don't know what I would do without you Virginia Weasley." He turned and smiled down at me.  My stomach began to flutter and my palms sweated with anticipation.  Would he kiss me like in my dreams?  I found myself wanting him to as days passed on.  I couldn't help my heart wishing him to be more than just a friend.  I can't tell him how I feel though, for I would be jeopardizing our friendship, besides a relationship between a Slytherin and a Gryffindor could never work out in the end.  The Malfoys are a very influential, powerful, and deadly family and the Weasleys are just a poor, hard-working average wizarding family.  No, it could never work out in the end.  But that still did not stop my heart from wishing…

         "Tell me what you're thinking." He asked in his deep sincere and down right sexy voice of his.  My heart sped up even more so than before.

         "Just how much I've come to depend upon you lately.  It's not right, but I wouldn't change it for the world."  So it wasn't a complete lie, just…exaggerated…

         "I'll always be here to protect you Ginny, you have my word." 

         "And I will forever be in your debt for what you've done for me these last few weeks." I replied back to him.  He was standing so close that I could smell the scent of his rich cologne.  It was a very pleasing scent indeed.

         He smiled arrogantly as he took my hand a placed a feathery light kiss upon my knuckles.  The gesture was both pleasing and overly gentlemanly and I felt like I was some Renaissance princess or something.  His lips left my hand a few seconds after and he smiled down at open astonishment.

         "Don't you have detention in a few minutes with a certain professor of ours?" He asked smugly.

         I glanced at my watch and realized I had exactly ten minutes to report to Snape's classroom down in the dungeons.  It was plenty of time truly, but I didn't want to leave Draco just yet though I knew I had to.

         "Yes, I have detention.  Will I be seeing you before you leave for home next week?" I asked with just a hint of anxiety in my voice.  

         "The day after tomorrow meet me at the Astronomy tower around midnight." He replied as he turned to walk in the opposite direction.  I walked in the direction of the dungeons but a familiar feeling kept nagging me at the back of my head.  I looked back at the place where the two of us were conversing not a scant few minutes.  The stone gargoyle seemed terribly familiar to me and yet for the life of me I couldn't quite place where I saw it before.

         'No time to worry about the past Ginny, you have detention with the devil incarnate…'


	10. Chapter Nine

_"Other people may be there to help us,_

_Teach us, guide us along our path._

_But the lesson to be learned is always ours."_

_         -Melody Beattie_

Chapter Nine

         "Miss Weasley, nice of you to make an appearance, and only two minutes late." Snape's dark sneering voice echoed off the walls of the dungeons as I literally ran into the  classroom and flew to the first seat available.

         "I was…delayed..sir." I replied hastily.

         "I see.  Now I'm sure you're dying of curiosity about what horrible thing I'm going to make you do tonight, am I right?" He asked as he turned those dark menacing eyes in my direction.  He was still seated behind his desk but now he was pacing back and forth behind it.  It was as if he had something to say but was reluctant to say it.

         "Yes sir, I am curious as to what I'll be doing for my detention." I replied again as I shadowed the lump of fear that rose in my throat at the number of possibilities that could take place.

         He sighed then and kept his gaze on my.  The urge to cower was overwhelming but I wouldn't give him that satisfaction.  I was a Gryffindor and I would uphold the honor of bravery even if it is in front of a snake like him.

         "Miss Weasley," his tone took a more gentle approach and for a minute I was unsure whether this was the same Snape or not.  "This is not easy for me to acknowledge, especially to a Gryffindor, but the reason I gave you detention is because I would like your help with something." My mouth nearly gaped at the petition he was telling me.  It wasn't only _what_ he was saying, but also how he was saying it.  His voice wasn't dark and menacing as usual, it was soft and…well…defeated in a way.

         "You would like _my_ help sir?  In what?" I asked him, my curiosity peaked at this point.

         "You are a very promising student, Miss Weasley, one of the few people who actually can grasp the concept of Potions.  Your marks in my class are exceptional and far exceed those of Miss Granger.  I have been asked by Dumbledore to do a certain…experiment…of sorts.  The information is highly classified and it would be safer for you and everyone else, not to know what is going on.  This experiment needs more than one person though and because of your high marks Dumbledore and I are asking that you help me with this assignment.  You will be measuring, noting, and mixing powerful potions and if you wish to decline our offer then please do so now before I continue."

         It was a lot to take in all at once.  Not only was the Headmaster trusting me to help them, but Snape who has never once cared much for my family was also trusting me to help.  I felt like I was in some kind of trance, or dream, and that in a few minutes I would wake up and Snape would once again be yelling for my tardiness.  Yet this was not a dream I feared.  Something was going on and I suspect it has to do with the fight with Voldemort and if I got involved it would surely put me at risk.  But why should that matter?  Only a few weeks ago I was ready to end my life by my own hand; this way I'd die helping a greater cause, or so I suspect anyway.  So why not help?  Draco told me to trust Snape and I suppose I should.  

         "I'll help.  Just tell me what to do."

         A hint of a smile etched his pale features and it seemed a great deal of tension was lifted too as his shoulders dropped in relief.

         "I will warn you now that this is very dangerous Miss Weasley.  I trust you to keep silent about these experiments.  Anything that goes on here is between you, Dumbledore, and I.  I will have your word on this?"

         "You have my word Professor, I will not tell a soul."  Who would bother to listen to me anyway?  Besides Draco.

         "We shall get started immediately.  I need you to gather this list of ingredients while I prepare the cauldron and collect some blank parchment scrolls to write on.  Miss Weasley?"

         I turned around to face him as he said my name.  He did smile then, very slightly.  I noticed then the strain along his dark eyes.  Draco was right, he has lived a hard life.  It showed on his face as plain as daylight.

         "Thank you."  He finished as he walked into his office to gather the necessary supplies.

         "Your welcome Professor."  I replied to his retreating back.

*******************************************************************************************************************************

         So that is how I spent the rest of my detention, in a dungeon researching a potion that I had no knowledge of for a reason I knew nothing about.   In time though I would know what the potion was for.  I noted all the different ingredients we would be using and filed it away in my brain for later research.  Last Christmas my brother Charlie gave me a book on 'Advanced Potions and Their Uses'.  So far I haven't had time to really look through it except for skimming certain chapters that caught my eye.  Now I was fully tempted to read the book cover to cover to memorize every detail and every ingredient and their purposes.  

         "So how did your detention go Ginny?" Hermione asked me as I walked into the Gryffindor Common Room two hours later.  I wasn't in the mood to really talk to anyone, but she being my brother's girlfriend I figured I owed her at least a small civil conversation.  Once a few years I had a silly childish notion that Hermione would become like an older sister to me and together we could spend hours discussing dreams and boys and even school work if that was what she wanted.  But no, that was so long ago it seems, and I am no longer a child in the eyes of society.  I could never go back to such foolish notions and she rarely seen from the 'Dream Team'.  The thought of being around my brother all the time at school nearly made me sick.

         "It was all right.  I had to organize the mess a group of first years made in the dungeons.  That's about it." I replied with a shrug.  I wasn't in the mood to make a more interesting story or to elaborate on any made up details.  

         "Sit down and talk with me Ginny.  We never get a chance to have a girl to girl chat.  The boys are off at practice so it'll just be the two of us, just like old times."

         There was never 'old times' between us, but I didn't think she'd appreciate my telling her that.  I also wasn't in the mood to be social with my brother's girlfriend.  Right now I just wanted to be back in my room reading about advanced potions and dreaming of things that could never be.  Dreaming of Draco…

         "I really have to get back to my room, I'm sorry.  Maybe we can talk another time."  I replied.  As if there really would be another time.  She spent so much time attached to Ron and Harry that people began to think of them as one person instead of three separate beings.  I didn't really wait for her reply, which I guess is rude of me but I don't really care right now.  I much prefer the sanctuary of my own bed to the openness of the common room.  

         I picked up the potions book from the bottom of my trunk where most of my books were kept.  I didn't want anyone to see the number of Muggle books that I've acquired over the years.  Someday…someday I would write a book of my own.  It has always been a dream of mine to do that.  Whether it be a Muggle book or a Wizarding one, it didn't matter.  Fiction was fiction and overlapped both worlds, though in truth there weren't many Wizard fiction writers out there.  But my dream of writing was just like my dream of researching potions as a muggle, it was unlikely to come true.  But still, maybe someday in the future I will look back to my childhood and write about the things that took place.  I would begin with the rise of the Dark Lord and his first downfall by the boy named Harry Potter, and my childhood crush on him when we first met.  Then I would include the story about the Chamber of Secrets and how I was used as a pawn for the man formally known as Tom Riddle.  Then after that I would include the stories of my second and third year, but nothing elaborate since nothing really happened that would be of any great interest.  Then, for the first time in my life I would write about my fourth year and lost innocence.  I would not leave out a single detail of the story either.  I would include the pain, the neglect, the way others treated me like a shadow, a lost face in the shadow.  I would mention my perfect brothers and their exciting and happy lives and oh how I wish I could be like them!  I would write it all!  I would tell the world!  

         Such foolishness is a weakness though, and I have to learn how to grow up.  Stop dreaming Virginia Weasley for such dreams can never happen to someone as low as yourself!  

         The black bounded book caught my eye a moment later and ripped me out of my fantasy.  I placed the leather book on my four-poster bed and drew the curtains around so as to warn the twins not to disturb me.  

         I paged through the index and the list of ingredients for all sorts of potions but still I could not find the things that were listed on Snape's paper.  Most of the ingredients that I did recognize, however, did not help in the least.  Dragon's blood, fairy wings, all these were common ingredients used for all sorts of potions, nothing specific.

         Noises filled the hallway outside my room and I knew that the girls would soon be back from studying in the library.  It was getting late anyway and since I would have to get up early for Herbology I decided to retire to bed early for tomorrow would sure be a long day.

         "I can't believe you didn't know."  The voice of one of the twins exclaimed right outside my door.  It sounded like Fiona because of the higher pitch.

         "I don't try to listen to gossip and you know it.  I thought it was just made up." Margaret (Maggie) her twin, replied.

         By now they have sparked my curiosity.  'What didn't Maggie know?'

         "It's the biggest news this year!  It's not everyday the famous Harry Potter breaks up with his girlfriend!"

         'Harry broke up with Sarya.  I wonder why?'

         "Rumor has it he likes someone else.  But no one knows who."

         "I bet it's someone like Lavender or Parvati."  

         "Dunno…could be.  But he hasn't shown any interest in them.  It's a complete mystery."

         They opened the door a few moments later and walked to their respected beds.  I feel asleep that night not thinking about the upcoming disperse of the Slytherins, or dangerous potions, but of Harry's new love interest.

         Who could it be?


	11. Chapter Ten

"Our background and circumstances may have influenced who we are, but we are responsible for who we become."

_         -Unknown_

Chapter Ten

         "You really have to go don't you?" It was Thursday night and Draco and a small group of seventh year Slytherins would be leaving the next morning.  The letter from Lucious Malfoy arrived earlier that day and the Slytherins put on solemn faces for the entire school.  But I knew it was a fake, I knew their true intentions.

         "Yes I do.  I promise you everything will be okay.  I'll come back to you, I won't let my father or the Dark Lord take me away." He replied while moving forward to embrace me.  

         "I won't let them either.  But what if they want to initiate you early?  What if he makes you and the rest of the seventh years become Death Eaters before you graduate?" I worriedly asked.  I glanced up into his silver eyes that seemed so dull with apologies and pain.

         "He can't, they can't.  It would be too risky especially with such a large population of us.  If Dumbledore or someone else was informed somehow then they would be in trouble.  They can't take such risks during such fragile times." He replied.

         "It's getting late and you need your rest for this weekend.  I shouldn't be taking up so much of your time."  I don't know what possessed me to say that, but I wasn't sure I could be in his presence without wanting to kiss him, wanting to hold him and never let go.  I couldn't jeopardize our friendship that way.

         "Sleep does very little to me but you are right about it getting late.  People will begin to worry if we are both missing for such a long time." He replied.  Oh how I would miss him, even for a few days.  

         "I'll be back by Sunday afternoon at the latest.  Until then Virginia."

         And suddenly the very thing that has plagued my dreams for the last few weeks came true.  

         He leaned over ever so slightly and placed his lips on mine, and all I could think about was how much I never wanted this moment to end.  

         "Draco…" I sighed when the kiss ended.  He turned around and began to leave. 

         "Draco!"  I shouted a little louder when he didn't respond the first time.

         When he turned around and stared his brilliant silver eyes into my own brown ones I felt all conscience thought leave my brain.  I didn't want to admit it…but this was someone I could love, and he could break my heart.  I wasn't sure if I'd be able to mend another broken soul again…

         "I know you're only helping me because of my past depression…and I'm thankful for that help.  But you could break my heart if I let you…"

         "Virginia…Ginny…I would never do anything to hurt you intentionally." And he sealed that promise with a final kiss before leaving through the doors of the Astronomy deck.  

         What have I gotten myself into?…

         "Add two sets of snakes teeth and then stir for five minutes." Professor Snape read off as he cut up some dried green herb.  From my seat a few feet away it looked like a plant called Janovive.  It was used only in small protection potions.  Suddenly an idea formed in my mind…suddenly I knew what these experiments were for.

         "These experiments are to find a repellent for the Unforgivable Curses, aren't they?" I asked him as I began stirring my current potion.  He dropped his knife down upon the table and for a short few moments he seemed stunned.  Or caught.

         "You're a very clever girl Miss Weasley."

         "I would have figured it out eventually Professor.  The Janovive that you are cutting up gave just made it the process a little quicker for me.  It's only used as a protection against minor hexes.  But added in with snakes teeth and possibly some mandrake leaves and toads eyes it might be a powerful repellent for some more advanced hexes, or minor curses." I explained.  

         "Yes Miss Weasley, that was the original plan for the potion."

         "But if you add newt eyes instead of toads it might create a longer effect Professor.  Newt eyes tend to have a more lasting effect when mixed with mandrake leaves." 

         It was like a light bulb being turned on in his head and as he turned to face me a look of astonishment crossed his face.  Was it something I said?

         "Merlin's Beard you're right.  Where have you learned so much about potions because I assure you in my classroom very few students tend to pay attention."  He was clearly still flabbergasted at my recent outburst.

         "I read about it in an Advanced Potions book my brother Charlie gave me for Christmas last year.  That and during the summer I like to experiment on my own with what few materials I have.  It's a passion of mine; to research different methods and mix things.  If I was a Muggle I assume I'd be some kind of Chemist, an equivalent to a Potion researcher.  They're very similar and I've made it my duty to learn as much as I could about both subjects…and now I'm rambling…I'm sorry.  We should go back to the potion now.  When should I add the Janovive?"

         "I never thought I'd see the day when a student of mine would show such…interest…in my subject; someone besides a Slytherin that is.  You are truly amazing Miss Weasley.  With a clever mind like yours and such a skill for potions, you could do a great deal in our world." 

         It bothers me how everyone I know seems to tell me how I'm destined for such 'great things'.  How could I be?  I'm barely passing all my other subjects save for Potions and Muggle Studies.  How can one be so destined for something if they can't pass a simple Transfiguration class?

         I wasn't sure if I should thank him or respond to his compliment some how.  I choose neither.  Draco trusts this man and I trust Draco.  Anything I told him would be kept in secret unless necessary.

         "I thank you for your compliment sir, but I have to disagree with you.  My brothers'…well…they are destined for great things in this world.  Why I wouldn't be surprised if Percy was elected the next Minister of Magic within the next few years.  Bill and Charlie are far more intelligent than I'll ever be.  Fred and George are far cleverer, and Ron is far more adventurous.  No, I'm not destined for anything except to just survive in this world along side everyone else, but thank you just the same." I replied to him while occupying myself with the task at hand.

         He didn't look like he believed me all that much while he added the leaves to the potion.

         "With a mind like yours you should have been a Slytherin.  You would have been able to achieve your goal without the spotlight of your brothers over your head.  It's a shame really that the hat choose you for Gryffindor."

         "But the hat didn't really choose me for Gryffindor sir." Did I just say that?  Did I just admit to my teacher what I've kept secret for so long?

         "What do you mean it didn't choose you for Gryffindor?" He asked while turning those black eyes on me.

         I sighed.  I couldn't take back the words so I decided to just admit my dark truth.

         "The hat wanted me in Slytherin but I begged for it to change me to Gryffindor.  If my brothers found out that I was not in their house they probably would have disowned me.  I did it to save their pride, I haven't thought about it in so long I've nearly forgotten."

         "It's a shame, that.  You could have done so much for our house.  We need someone with a clever mind and a good heart.  You don't find too many of those in times such as ours."

         "I don't suppose so, but you still have a lot to boast about, a lot to be proud of.  Salazar Slytherin was very noble in his day and I have learned many good witches and wizards have come from your house."  Was I trying to defend him?  His house?  Was I sane?  At that moment I highly doubted it.

         He chuckled a bit, a deep soft chuckle that lasted only a few short seconds.  

         "These are dark times Virginia Weasley, dark times caused by dark wizards.  Most of whom came from my house, most of whom I went to school with.  Very few Slytherins hold 'noble' qualities nowadays."

         Conversation for the most part ended there.  The only spoken words were questions of comments about the recent potion we were involved with.  It wouldn't be ready to test until the next day for it needed at least 12 hours to simmer.  By the time I crawled into bed that night it was nearing midnight but it didn't matter for tomorrow was Saturday, a Hogsmeade day, and I planned to use the free time to gather more books from my friends in London.  It has been a while since I have visited and I did promise to stop by once school started.  But things have delayed my visitation and tomorrow was as good a day as any.

         A slight pulsing at my throat erupted me from my sleep a few hours later.  From the darkness outside I gathered it was past midnight.  I glanced down at the necklace that Draco gave me not too long ago.

         "Something's wrong." I whispered to no one in particular.

         I gripped the stone as a wave of nausea overtook my stomach.  Blinding visions blurred rapidly into my mind.

         "Something is very wrong."

         _Darkness surrounded the dark cloaked figures as they gathered around a single burning fire.  A thin figure stood at the center of the group and a small circle of young wizards gathered around him.  One by one the young looking wizards walked forward and knelt to the lone thin man.  The young wizards lifted their sleeves as a small tattoo was etched on their left arms.  Faintly…oh so faintly that it was almost hard to see if you didn't know what to look for._

_         "Pledge your loyalty to me." The thin figure shouted to the young group._

_         "We are at your command lord." They responded.  A circle of older looking, black- cloaked wizards let out a small roar of approval._

_         "My children you make my old heart proud.  Now, I release you back into your own world…make me proud my loyal followers.  Know this, we will not stop until the last Muggle falls at my feet.  Together we will create a perfect society, together we will take over this world."_

         To the left of the dark thinned figure stood a tall blonde-haired boy next to an older looking dark haired figure.

         Draco… 

         "Ginny!" A voice shouted from above me.  I tried to open my eyes but everything was hazy and my head was pounding so horribly at my temples.

         "I think she's waking up Professor." Another voice continued.  The tone of voice sounded familiar but I couldn't think past the throbbing in my head.

         "Ginny, can you hear me?" I recognized that voice, it was the sound of my head of house; Professor McGonagall.

         "Where am I?" I croaked out at last.  My throat hurt too and I desperately wished for a glass of water.

         "You're down in the infirmary.  The O'Kelly's heard you scream and then you passed out.  You've been out for nearly six hours." She replied.

         "Do you remember what happened?" Fiona asked.  

         "Girls, I appreciate your concern but I must speak to Miss Weasley alone for now.  The carriages to Hogsmeade leave soon.  Why don't you go get ready, Ginny will be here when you return." To not sound so harsh, McGonagall finished her plea with a smile and waited for the twins to leave.

         "We'll tell your brother and the others you're awake okay?" Maggie asked as she was on her way out.  I nodded in reply.  It's not like he'd really care anyway.

         "Now Ginny, I want you to try to recall what happened last night." She asked me as soon as the door closed behind Maggie.  Should I tell her about the necklace Draco gave me?  He never said to keep it a secret, but I doubt he wanted anyone to know about it.  And what about the vision I had?  Was it really a vision?  Did I really see Draco and the other 7th year Slytherins become initiated as Death Eaters?  Didn't he promise me they wouldn't?  No, I couldn't tell McGonagall.  But perhaps I should tell Dumbledore…  Would he understand?  Would I be breaking Draco's trust and would him and the other Slytherins get kicked out and thrown in Azkaban?  Would I ever see him again?  It was all too much to think about right now.  

         "I had a nightmare professor." I replied in a small voice.

         "Nightmares rarely tend to cause people to go into a coma for six hours." She replied.  Damn.

         "I'm not sure what it was really.  I was dreaming and then this immense darkness took over and then I woke up and my head was pounding and I started screaming.  I don't remember much about it though.  I really don't."  So it wasn't a total lie.  Just not very in depth.

         "I want you to spend the day down here and rest.  I may be over exaggerating but I'm still going to have to inform the Headmaster about this.  Now you go back to sleep and I'll be down to visit later in the afternoon."  She patted my shoulder gently and then left the room a few minutes later.  As soon as the door closed it seemed to open again.  This time it was Professor Snape.

         "You saw the rally didn't you." He asked in that dark whisper-like voice of his.  How did he know?

         "How?" I asked back.

         "How what?  How did I know?  Well Draco is my most prized student and he confides in me more so than anyone.  I know about the necklaces, how they're a connection between the two of you.  I overheard part of your story to McGonagall and I pieced the two parts together.  You saw Draco's initiation last night."  It wasn't really a question, more a statement of fact.  I couldn't lie to him though, he knew, somehow he knew.

         "How would you know about the initiation?" I asked as I turned to look at him.  His pale face showed shadows underneath dark black eyes.  His tasseled hair showed that he obviously didn't get much sleep.

         "You were there weren't you?  You knew about this?  You saw them all pledge themselves to that…thing!" I nearly screamed at him.  I didn't blame Snape, but since he was the only one in the room and I needed to release my anger on something, it just made things easier.

         "Yes I was there Miss Weasley.  I watched students from my own house willingly pledge their lives to the Dark Lord."  He looked so unbelievably…hurt…for a second.  The look quickly passed and was replaced by anger.

         "Why now!  Why did it have to be now!  Why does he need their loyalty now and not after they graduate!"

         "You misinterpreted the ritual Miss Weasley.  It was not their official initiation but a…pre-initiation ceremony…you could say.  The mark the Dark Lord gave them is only a faint reminder to them that as soon as they graduate they will go through the official ceremonial ritual and at that point the dark mark will become more…visible.  Right now they are like…squires…you could say.  You're familiar with Medieval terms are you not?"

         I nodded my head in reply.

         "Well Draco and the others are merely squires to the real Death Eaters.  They will be forced to go to some assemblies and partake in certain…tests…to prove their loyalty.  They will follow and learn from their elders and when the time is right, and after they've proven their sincerity, they will undergo a final ritual where the dark mark will be burned into their skin and they will have earned the full title of 'Death Eater'.  As for your previous question why now?  Well I can't really say for sure.  Maybe Voldemort is feeling insecure about some of his subjects and wants new recruits that he can mold in his image while they're still young.  I can't really say for sure."

         I sat back against the pillows of the bed and tried to take in all the information that I was given.  Draco was a Death Eater…or nearly one.  I knew the day would be coming but I hadn't expected it so soon!  Why was life so unfair!  And why did I care so much!

         _Because you love him Ginny…_


	12. Chapter Eleven

"Her whole life was torn to pieces, falling around her.  She didn't understand anything." 

         _-Night World_

Chapter Eleven

         I was up early come Saturday morning.  I was so excited about being able to see my friends that I couldn't sleep much, even after the ordeal with Draco and the dream.  I tried to contact him through the crystal but I wasn't getting a response, which means he was heavily surrounded by evil and it would be too risky to try to connect with each other.  I glanced at my bedside clock and noted that the student's going to Hogsmeade would be leaving within the hour.  I hurried up and dressed in a pair of Muggle jeans and a green sweater.  Over top I placed on my Hogwart's robes so as not to attract too much attention to myself.  I picked up my black pack-back and hurried down the steps and to breakfast.

         "So are you going to Hogsmeade with us Ginny?" Hermione asked as I took my seat across from the famous trio.  Harry glanced over at me at the same time Hermione asked her question and gave what I noted as a curious and almost pleading look.  I was confused and startled for a moment but hurriedly I explained that I had much to study for if I wanted to pass my O.W.L.S. this year.  Homework was always Hermione's first priority and I knew she would accept my excuse without further question.  However, Harry seemed a bit downcast at my news and for a moment I let myself think back to my innocent childhood days where I could do nothing more except dream that one day Harry would show interest in me.  The thought was so ridiculous I nearly starting laughing out loud in front of the entire school!  But oh to be that innocent again!

         "I'm going to be in the library for most of the day I suspect.  Maybe I'll take a break and visit Hagrid for a while."  Now I never really knew Hagrid personally.  A few times in the past Ron and company dragged me along for one of their afternoon chats, and of course there was always Care of Magical Creatures.  But still he was a very likeable fellow and maybe if I did return early I would stop and say hi.  Care of Magical Creatures was never my favorite class, but it was exciting to see all the different types of creatures that our world held.  Sometimes I would find myself compare and contrasting Muggle creatures and Wizard ones.  It was silly I know, but it helped to keep my mind from straying to unpleasant thoughts.  It kept me sane.

         "The carriages are leaving in a few minutes, we better hurry up guys." Ron exclaimed quickly and the trio, along with most of the upper classmen, left to go into town.  I took that as my cue and hurried back up to the Gryffindor common room with my small bag of floo powder. 

         "To the Sinclair's residence." I said to the blazing fire.  Minutes later I was standing in the living area of my very best friends.  But something was wrong.  The store was eerily quiet and all the lights, save one, were turned off.  The place held a very potent and horrible smell and books were thrown heavily around the room, decorating the carpet all over.  Yes something was very wrong indeed.  And that's when I saw it.

         At the bottom of the stairs a plumb figure was sprawled on her back and blood was pooled around her gray haired head.  My stomach lurched as looked upon the face of Mrs. Sinclair and suddenly I just wanted to go back, go back and pretend I was not witnessing this hell.

         But it was so real…and minutes later I glanced down to the front of the store where Mr. Sinclair laid quietly on his stomach curled up in a fetal position, blood dripping from a wound to his head.

         "No, no you can't do this.  You can't!  You can't leave me here alone again!" I shouted to their lifeless bodies.  Bile rose rapidly to my throat and I vomited heavily until I felt like my insides were being torn apart.  And perhaps they were.

         And that's when I saw the Dark Mark…

         It just hung there on the shelves.  Actually it was all over the place.  As if the murderer was boasting this act and proving that "Yes I killed them, I am a follower of Voldemort and I killed these Muggles!"

         "Such tragedy…did you know them well?" A voice asked from behind me.  I turned around to face two strangers wearing black wizarding robes.  From the looks of them I recognized them to be Aurors.

         "They were my family." I whispered.  I felt numb, unbelievably numb that I haven't experienced in years.  This was worse than the neglect, worse than the rape, worse than the horrible nights I spent cutting my wrist hoping to bleed to death.  This was the death of the only two people who have treated me as if I belonged, as if I was one of their own.  They loved me, they truly loved me and I never once got to thank them for the years that they have helped me with my life.  They were gone, and they weren't ever going to come back.

         I walked like a zombie back to the fireplace.  The two aurors tried to talk to me, tried to help.  How could they?  What could they do to help me?  Could they bring back the life of two noble, honest, hard working and loving people?  No!  They couldn't!  At that moment I hated life's unfairness, I hated how life took the ones that deserved to live and left on earth all of the evil and undeserving people, myself included.  I didn't deserve their love, I didn't deserve anything they've ever done for me but they did it anyway and I was always so grateful.  Why!  Why is life so cruel!

         The common room was deserted and I was thankful for that.  I ran up to my dorm and quickly found what I needed, what always made things feel better.  On my way to the Astronomy tower I ran into Professor Snape.  He noticed the change in me, but I was thankful he only gave a polite nod and continued on his way past, most likely on his way to see Dumbledore.

         The wind was biting today but the sun still shone brightly.  I cursed its happy cheerful color.  How could it be such a calm and sunny day?  Two innocent, wonderful people were dead and yet the weather dares contradict that!  

         The silver blade in my palm brought me back to the problem at hand.  I was beginning to feel again, I was beginning to feel the pain that life brings.  I couldn't do that; it was a rule of mine now.  Feel nothing, be numb.  Beautiful numbness…

           The blade sliced slowly across my upper wrist, just three inches down from my elbow on the sensitive inside of my skin.  Oh it felt so wonderful!  The pain, the physical pain was so rewarding I felt like this was truly heaven for I so sure I could feel the calm and serenity already.  It was so…

         "Ginny!" A voice shouted loudly.  I was caught.  I glanced down first and realized that I cut too deep.  I didn't even remember it.  It was deep and it hurt and there was blood.

         _"So much blood." The one Auror said to the other.  _

_         "Real shame, Muggles too.  Quiet couple.  Wonder why Voldemort wanted them silenced._

_         "Does he ever have his reasons."_

"There's so much blood…" I whispered to the unknown person at the doorway of the tower.  

         "You promised…" The voice said before I fainted away.  The last thing I remember was a shock of blonde hair and a pair of sad gray eyes.

         'I'm sorry Draco…'

         "I think she's coming around Professor." 

         "Draco?" I croaked.  Gosh how my throat ached.  I glanced around at the familiar faces.  Draco was on my left holding my hand delicately in his own.  Professor Snape and McGonagall were standing near the door, both with concerned but relieved looks on their stern faces.  I glanced around to see if my brother and his friends were there.  I wasn't shocked to see they weren't.

         "You gave us quite a fright Miss Weasley." An all too familiar voice said from the foot of my bed.  For the first time I noticed the appearance of Professor Dumbledore and suddenly I knew that things were going to get much worse before or if they ever got better.

         "Would you excuse us for a moment?" Dumbledore addressed to the other people in the room.  Draco was the last to leave, he didn't want to let go of my hand but a stern yet understanding look from Dumbledore finally convinced him.  When Draco closed the door the Headmaster turned back to my bed once again.

         He just stared for a moment.  It was as if he was thinking of how he wanted to phrase things.  

         "Headmaster?" I asked him in a slight whisper, not trusting my voice at the moment.

         "Life is too precious a thing to waste young Weasley.  It may not be fair, and it may not always go the way you want it to, but one must learn to live with the precious gift that they were given.  People die, our world has become once again fearful of the arising evil.  It has been nearly 16 years since his reign of terror and no one on earth is safe.  Your friends were good and caring people, I can see that from the way you mourn them and I am sorry for your loss.  But life must never be wasted, it must be valued Miss Weasley.  Many people out there are dying who want to live; you are one of the lucky ones.  You were chosen by the hat to be in Gryffindor, and a wise choice it was for I can see the bravery and courage that you possess deep within…"

         "But I wasn't chosen for Gryffindor!  It wanted me in Slytherin!" I replied nearly shouting. 

         "It may have felt your skills would have been more valuable to Slytherin, but the hat never chooses wrong.  If it truly wanted you to be in Slytherin, you would be.  Now then on to more important matters.  Madam Pomfrey has noticed that you hide more scars than just this recent one.  I am not asking for you to tell me everything, for everyone is entitled to their privacy.  But I cannot let another situation like this happen again Miss Weasley, you do understand that?"

         I nodded slowly, my head bowed as if in prayer.  What about my parents?

         "Your parents will have to be notified, however, if it is your wish I will only tell them that you have had an accident and that it has been taken care of.  Is that what you would like?"  His blue eyes were no longer twinkling like they normally did.  Instead they were dull and filled with what looked like pity.  

         No one understood, no one!  I don't want their pity or their sympathy!  I just want to be able to live, how I want to!  Does no one understand!

         "Yes, it was all an accident.  I would appreciate that very much Headmaster." I whispered.  Yes, just an accident.  I accidentally let them find me.  I accidentally didn't cut hard enough.  I accidentally let myself live…somehow…

         "I'm not sure how we are going to deal with this Miss Weasley.  Something like this rarely occurs here at Hogwarts and Wizards, unlike Muggles, don't have many psychologists."  He continued.  I winced at the thought.  I knew very well what a psychologist was, it was a head doctor.  People would go to these doctors and talk about their problems and in turn given medications to stop anxiety attacks or relieve depression.  Sure, that's all I needed right now, a doctor to tell me I was mentally incapable of anything.  I can see the headlines now in Rita Skeeters article "Youngest Weasley Child Goes Crazy".  And what about my family?  What would they think?  Percy would be ridiculed, Bill would be patronized and Charlie, well Charlie would be disappointed.  I doubt Fred and George would care though, they don't care much about the family anymore.  Family…My only true family was Mr. and Mrs. Sinclair and they were no doubt killed because of me.  Rumor of our friendship must have leaked out and they were targeted.  Oh why was I so stupid!  Why didn't I think of the consequences!  Two of the most important people in my life were brutally murdered because of my stupid mistake!

         "Please Headmaster, I don't want to see anyone right now.  I think…I think there is someone close by who can help.  Two someone's actually, and they in their own way have been helping me in the recent past.  I don't know why I relapsed the way I did but I understand it was wrong and I think I can trust those two people enough to talk to them, and they in turn can help me.  I don't want a psychologist; I don't want to talk to someone who is paid to listen to my problems.  I'd rather talk to someone who can understand and relate on a more…personal level.  Do you understand?"  He smiled then, the twinkling in his blue eyes was back and I felt a great relief being lifted off my shoulders.  I was safe once again.

         "I take these…someone's…are reliable and dependable.  I trust your judgment Ginny, but if anything happens like this again I'm going to have to tell your parents the truth and send you to see someone professionally.  Now, if I were you I'd get some rest and eat some of those lovely treats your peers have sent you.  Good day Miss Weasley."

         "Thank you Headmaster." I said as he walked out.  A few minutes later I was fast asleep.  I dreamed of black shadows, books, and a smiling couple waving happily at me from a billowy white cloud.  

         I woke up around dawn with a sad feeling in the pit of my stomach…Draco was a Death Eater…The Sinclair's were dead…

         I was truly alone once again.

A/N: Thanks to all your great reviews…I truly appreciate it.  I have a lot of work though coming up in the next few weeks (papers, tests, and finals) for college and I don't know how often I'll be updating.  I will try to have at least one more chapter up by the time my winter break starts (Dec. 14th) but I can't promise anything. Thanks again!

~Kandimoon


	13. Chapter Twelve

A/N: I'm sorry it's been a while since I last updated.  But I have a new chapter up finally!  Finals are in a week so I don't think I'll have another chapter up till I go home for Christmas vacation in about two weeks.  I might, but it's highly unlikely.  Well enjoy the story!  And thank you for all of your great reviews!

~Kandimoon

"If she was going to survive, she had to make herself hard and strong. She couldn't care about anybody else, or trust anybody or rely on anybody. Nobody could protect her."

_         -The Night World_

Chapter Twelve

         "Why'd you do it Virginia?" An all too familiar voice asked me sometime after breakfast.  I cracked my eyes open for a split second to gaze at Draco's silvery-blonde hair.  Here's the start to another wonderful day…

         "You broke your promise Ginny!  Do you know what would have happen had I arrived a few minutes later!  You could have died!" He was shouting by the end of the last sentence, I winced at the tone, he was really mad.

         "I broke your promise, did I?  What about yours?  You told me nothing was going to happen at this little 'get together', you told me he wouldn't initiate you yet!"

         "Don't you turn the tables on me Ginny, _I_ had no idea what Voldemort planed to do the other night.  I couldn't have avoided what happened but you!  You promised you wouldn't cut again, you promised me!  Do you know what it's like to hold someone in your arms and feel them dying?  That's how I felt when I found you!  I wanted you to wake up just so I could hurt you again for being so bloody stupid!  Hurting yourself doesn't make your problems disappear, I've told you that before!  It just makes things worse in the end Virginia!"

         "It may not make my problems disappear but it helps with the pain, Draco!  I saw them; I saw what 'your kind' did to them!  They were just lying there so helpless…oh god…they were good people!  They died and they didn't do a single damn thing to anyone ever!" I screamed back at him.  All the pain, all the visions of that day poured back into me at that moment and I couldn't stop the shaking of my own body.

         "Who's dead?  What are you talking about?" He asked curiously, and more quietly.

         "The Sinclairs!  The only people who ever gave a damn about me in this pathetic world!  They were killed…by your kind!" I screamed at him.  He winced as the recognition of the situation hit him.

         "When did this happen?" He asked softly.  A peculiar looked passed through his eyes but I didn't ask him about it.  

         "The same night you found me lying unconscious in a pool of blood." I sarcastically replied back to him.

         He didn't say anything but instead gathered me in his arms and kissed my forehead.  I wanted to scream, I wanted to scream and hit and throw a fit about the unfairness of the world but I didn't.  I couldn't no matter how hard I would try.  Nothing I could do would bring back the ones I lost and deep down I knew that they were happy in whatever heaven was out there.  While my mind accepted the idea that they were gone, my heart was still in denial.

         "Virginia you must understand I did not want any of this to happen.  I didn't ask to be my father's child, I didn't want to become a death eater like him, and I didn't ask for your love, but I got it all anyway didn't I?  If things were different, if we were not in this stupid war, if Potter would just kill that bastard already, maybe then…well…then anything is possible.  Ginny you are in a dangerous situation, though you may not know it.  I doubt Lord Voldemort randomly killed your friends; he must have known that you were associating with them.  Being around them unintentionally put them in danger and they were killed because Voldemort can't stomach the thought of a pureblood, no matter how poor, being around non-magic folk.  But there is more Ginny, I too am a danger to you, if Voldemort found out that we were 'together', or even my father for that matter, I would be cursed and thrown in a dungeon and then well…you can draw your own conclusions from there.  Ginny I can't…I can't put you in danger like that.  I would rather you live, that both of us live, with what we know, with what we feel, but we can't be together physically, it's too dangerous.  I don't want to risk your life because of…this…whatever this may be that's between us.  I'm afraid we can't see each other anymore."

         I stared blankly at him for a good few minutes before attempting to speak.  Everything was coming at me all at once and the pressure of it all was crushing my soul into a thousand broken shards of glass.  No, this wasn't happening to me, not again, not when things might have started looking UP for once in my life.  Oh God it hurt, it hurt so much.  My body…my body was on fire and my mind…no…this isn't right…

         "NO!" I screamed at him.  I didn't care if Madam Pomfrey heard; I didn't care if the whole of Hogwarts heard me right now.

         "Not now, you cannot stand there and tell me this now, not after everything that's happened, not after all that we've been through.  Do you know what it's like to have your world constantly turned upside down?  To not be good enough?  And then, and then someone comes along and changes that for you.  Someone comes along and turns your world around again but this time for the better!  I was living Draco!  For once in my life I was truly alive!  I could feel again, I let myself feel again.  Do you know what it's like to be told by someone you 'loved' that you were less than perfect?  Do you know what it's like to lie in a dark, cold room as they beat and rape the very body they feel is inadequate?  Do you know what it's like to be used, and to not feel a thing?  You once noticed the scars on my wrists Draco, but what about the ones on my soul?  Did you ever bother to look and see that maybe things were much more than the simple fact that I am not good enough for my family, that I'm tainted, spoiled, a failure?  You can suck up to dear old Daddy and he'll be your best friend, not matter what horrible deeds he may have you do.  But I could suck up to my parents for years and they would still see me as nothing, absolutely nothing.  I was numb Draco Malfoy, I was numb for so many years and you…you made me feel again.  Even when you were sneering and calling me names there was still a part of me that knew that underneath your cool stiff exterior beat the heart of a caring individual.  I saw you Draco…I saw the real you and I love every piece of it.  How can you throw away all of what we worked so hard for just because it's dangerous?  Danger is all around us, but yet people still take risks because…because how can we know what's good or bad for us if we don't?  How can we tell the good from the bad if we don't live, if we don't experience all of the possibilities?  I love you Draco…I don't know why I love you but I do and I can't walk away knowing that you love me too and yet we can't be together.  I can't turn back to who I was again…I won't let myself become like that."

         He didn't say a word for a few moments after my outburst.  Tears were gathering around the corners of my eyes, I never lost control in front of a person before so why now?  I never truly planned for my story with Tom to be known by anyone…let alone the guy who was my enemy not long ago.  Would Draco care?  Would he shun away like most others would?  Would he still love me knowing that I wasn't as pure as people thought I was?  Would it matter to him?  

Just then a small crystal tear fell gently along the side of his face.  That was the first time I have ever seen a guy cry and my heart felt like a knife was twisting itself around in circles.  Oh dear god what have I done?

         "It was Tom wasn't it?" He asked.  I knew what he was referring to.

         I nodded.

         "I never knew…I'm so sorry Ginny, I never knew.  I…don't know what to say…"

         "Don't say anything…please.  I tried so hard and for so long to forget…and no one ever knew…no one ever suspected.  And Tom…well he left and I was free once again."

         "God I'm so sorry…but…Ginny you do realize the danger that you are in right?  Especially with your work with Snape on that potion.  You must understand that if anything…even the slightest rumor…is spread to the dark side then we are in trouble.  My father and undoubtedly Voldemort, would never miss a chance to kill a Weasley, especially one closely linked to Potter.  We must take extra precautions when we are together, we must only meet once a week and for only a short amount of time.  If you need me owl unanimously and place everything in code, or simply use the necklace.  God I love you so much.  I promise you Ginny, I promise no one will ever hurt you like that again.  They will have to kill me a thousand times over first….They'd…"

         "Draco?  Shut up and kiss me already."  He smiled and happily obliged.

         "Madam Pomfrey will be back in a few minutes to check on you, I must go for now.  I promise I'll try to visit as soon as possible, as soon as I'm out of the suspecting eyes of the Slytherins.  Your brother and his friends are also suspecting something so my visit will have to be late tonight.  Is that okay with you?" He asked, truly concerned.

         "As long as I can see you I don't what time of the night it is." I smiled back in reply.  

         He kissed me again quickly on my forehead before exiting the door.  A few seconds later Professor Snape came through the door with a small vile of blue liquid in his hands.

         "Are you mad at me?" I asked the pale, tall, and dark featured professor.

         "I'm not mad Miss Weasley, I am disappointed in you though.  When things became too rough you took the easy way out, you disappoint your house name by doing what you did."

         "But Professor, it is rumored you were once in the inner circle of elite death eaters under Voldemort in his earlier reign.  However I know for a fact by your intelligence that you were a smart and dedicated student during your time at Hogwarts.  Yet you wasted your talent for dark purposes instead of using it to help mankind.  Did you not take the easy way out as well?"

         "One learns from his mistakes Miss Weasley.  What you say is true, however it was a dark time and not many people could escape Voldemorts clutches even if they wanted to." He responded, but his traditional sneer (always reserved for my brother and his two best friends) wasn't visible.  In truth he looked forlorn, regretful.

         "Exactly, one learns from his mistakes.  I've made mistakes and I'm not afraid to admit that.  But for me to learn from them, I first had to experience them, didn't I?"

         "Your words don't make much sense Miss Weasley."

         "I've had some…complications…that have happened in my past.  And it is hard, wouldn't you say, to suddenly change your ways.  I suspect it took a good few years to finally accept the good side by using your talents for help rather than harm, am I right?"

         He nodded.

         "Well I spent a lot of time living with these…memories…that I thought were real, but now I've seen a new way of looking at things.  Draco has helped me see that.  But when he left and things went wrong, I went back to the way I used to be, and I've paid the price for my mistake.  So now, after learning of the consequences for my actions, I can try to get better.  It won't be overnight, or even in a month or so, it will take years.  Just like it took years for you to get used to working under Dumbledore and to accept the good again."

         "Your mind never ceases to amaze me Miss Weasley.  You are far more intelligent then you let yourself believe you are.  However your talents happen to be the same as mine, and I look forward to getting back to researching our potion as soon as you feel better.  Do you feel 'healed' enough to work tomorrow night around 8 o'clock in the evening?"

         "I'll see you in your lab at 8 professor."  I replied.

         "Good day then Miss Weasley."

         "Professor?" I called as he was leaving through the door.

         "Yes?" He turned as his black eyes bore into my own brown ones.

         "Thank you."

         He didn't smile really…not in the true sense anyway.  But the corner of his lip did curl up for a brief second as he walked out of the door and back to the Slytherin dormitory.  

         That afternoon I had a dream much like the ones before.  There was a castle on the cliffs and the sun was shinning brightly in the sky.  Draco was standing in front of the doorway waving at me to come to him and behind him I could see all of our friends.  Snape was there, so was Raven, and behind them were the Sinclairs.  They were all smiling happily and calling out my name to come join them.  Then, just as I was about to grasp Draco's outstretched hand another one took its place.  I turned abruptly into the face of Thomas Somerson, Tom.  I screamed as he grabbed my waist and the image of Draco and my friends slowly diminished as a new dream took form.  Tom was back and he was hitting me again, but this time I hit him back and he screamed as my nails racked across his skin.  

         _"You bitch!  How dare you make me bleed you ungrateful whore!" He screamed at me in my dream._

_         "Bastard!" I spat back at him._

_         "You will pay you incompetent piece of vial filth." And then I found myself holding my stomach after having a metal bar slammed into my abdomen.  Blood poured down my legs as I fell to the ground unconsciously.  And then I knew…suddenly I knew…_

         I had lost the baby.


	14. Chapter Thirteen

"They say I got to learn but nobody's here to teach me.  If they can't understand it, how can they reach me?"

_         -Coolio_

Chapter Thirteen

         "Ginny!  Ginny wake up!" A distant voice screamed.  I could barely make out the recognizable voice of Draco Malfoy, who was as I opened up my eyes, sitting right beside me on the hospital bed holding my hand.

         "What happened Ginny?" He asked as he noticed the fact that I was now awake.

         "I-I don't…what happened?  When did you get here?" I asked back.  Sleep still evident in my mind.  

         "You were asleep but then you started screaming out in your sleep.  You said something like 'Bastard' and then you started crying.  What did you dream about?"

         "Oh god Draco the baby!  He killed the baby!"  Suddenly my dream started replaying over in my mind, every sad gruesome detail.

         "What baby Virginia?" He asked puzzled. 

         "My baby, he killed it!  He killed me with it…" I was crying now, sobbing uncontrollably.  No one ever knew about the baby, no one knew about Tom or the miscarriage that happened because of his rage.  I just told Draco he killed a part of me when he killed my baby, and I meant every word of it.  Part of me died that night as the blood poured down my leg and gut-wrenching pain took over my body.

         "You…you were pregnant…with Tom's child?" 

         I nodded, too shaken to speak at the moment.  When I could finally gather enough energy to speak, my voice was hoarse and very soft.

         "It was a little over a month after the first rape…I was three weeks pregnant at the time and I was scared to tell him.  When I did he flipped out and said that the child wasn't his; that I was cheating on him or something.  I don't know what made me fight back that time but I the thought of him accusing me, for saying I was some kind of whore, well that was the last straw.  I dug my nails into the side of his face, I meant to only slap him but I wanted him to bleed, just like he did to me all those other times.  He called me names and I called them right back and after a few minutes he got sick of my defiance and he…there was a rod, a metal rod only a few feet away.  I don't remember what room we were in or why there was a metal rod there to begin with but he swung it as hard as he could into my abdomen.  I doubled over in pain…oh god how it hurt.  And then there was blood…so much blood everywhere.  He laughed, he sneered, then he turned away and walked through the door and I was left alone to suffer.  I regained consciousness I'm assuming about two hours later and after cleaning up the blood I walked down to the bathroom and threw up.  I knew I couldn't go to the nurse, after all everyone still thought of me as this happy in love little Virgin who would never do anything wrong.  People are so naïve.  I used floo powder to go to the Sinclairs and they took me to a Muggle doctor who didn't ask any questions and fixed what he could.  Tom left not too long after, said he couldn't stand being around a whore.  I didn't mind though, I was finally rid of him.  It was the happiest day of my life." 

         Again Draco was quiet for quite some time before he spoke.  His face was a bit paler than usual and his hands were clenched into fists.  I knew what he was thinking at that moment but it wouldn't have mattered.  Draco wanted to kill Tom, probably would if he ever saw him too, but Tom was far away now, he would never come back.

         "How-how can you love me after the things he's done to you?  How can you not want to stay away from the male species entirely?  I swear to god Ginny I'll kill that…thing…if he ever comes near you again.  I'll put him under a curse that will make the Cruciatus Curse feel like a pinch.  No one, no one will ever raise a hand or object to you, you have my word Virginia Weasley, you have my heart."

         "That is more than I could ever ask for Draco Malfoy.  You have my heart as well."

         The Christmas holidays came and passed, as did the entire month of January.  Snape and I haven't advanced much on our potion research, but a few very small discoveries were uncovered in the meantime.  We have found out that Janovive mixed with shredded snail shells and powdered unicorn horn stirred for two hours straight and then left to simmer overnight reduced the amount of pain given by the Cruciatus Curse, but did not overall stop it.  We, much to my dismay even though it was for the good of the entire world, tested our results on lab mice and after a number of positive results we presented our information to Professor Dumbledore.  It wasn't much, but it was a start.  However we needed to start getting somewhere fast, time was nearing when Harry would finish school and the Dark Lord would strike at his worst, or so we were informed.  I also needed better results before Draco was officially initiated into the Death Eater 'clan'.  Once a week he would be summoned by his father to go on a 'mission'.  When he returned his face was much paler than usual and his eyes were glazed over in pain and regret.  He wouldn't tell me the things his father and Voldemort made him do, in some way I really didn't want to know either, but it was unnerving how I couldn't help ease his pain.  I wanted to help, but the only way I could do that was by working as hard as I could on a cure for the Unforgivable Curses.  Today was February 14th, or rather Valentines Day.  Couples throughout the school were opening showing their affection for one another, except of course for Draco and I.  One other student was also without a partner, one who never lacked for female attention…

         "Hello Harry." I said as I walked into the common room after breakfast.  It was a Saturday and therefore there were no classes.  It wasn't a Hogsmeade trip weekend either so most of the students were lounging around on in the library studying for their upcoming exams, or rather Hermione was…

         "Hello Ginny, no guy this year?  If memory serves correct you've had a number of admirers over the years on this particular day."  He commented as I took a seat across from him in front of the fireplace.

         "I haven't had a boyfriend in two years Harry, not since Tom anyway."  Though it pained me to mention his name, I still had to say it.  I shouldn't fear a name, not when the physical being of the name no longer resided here.

         "What about you Harry Potter?  You've never lacked female attention in all the years you've been here.  I should know seeing as how I spent the first few years pining over you like a love-sick puppy." I joked.  A look crosses his eyes at that moment but I brushed it off as inconsequential.

         "I do have my eyes on someone, but she just doesn't know it yet.  Tell me Ginny, when did you stop caring?"  I panicked at that moment.  Did he mean what I thought he meant?  Did he mean when did I stop caring about people?  About life?  But wait…no…he was…that's it!  He meant when did I stop caring about HIM.  Oh no what have I gotten myself into!

         "I was ten years old Harry.  I still thought boys had cooties…well except you I guess.  I couldn't even talk to you without blushing redder than my hair!" I laughed to lighten the mood a bit.

         "But I suppose it ended when I went out with Seamus in your fifth year, my fourth.  Then of course there was Tom," again nausea rose from my stomach and I had to fight to keep it down.  It was just a name after all.

         "I guess I've always looked up to you when I was younger because you were Ron's friend and all, and of course you were the Boy Who Lived.  But things change and life goes on.  I guess it's just how things work.  Speaking of brothers…where is my charming older sibling?  Romancing Hermione I image?" I asked curiously.  Not that I really wanted to know or anything, truly I didn't, I just needed something to take my mind off of the fact that Harry…well Harry might…like…me.  No, that was just too weird.

         "He and Hermione are currently in the library "studying" for their N.E.W.T.S tests in a couple months.  Though I doubt they're getting much accomplished." He laughed back.  And then, at that moment, I was given one of the biggest surprises in my life.  He kissed me.  It was just a light kiss, very light and too short that I couldn't have pulled away from, but it was still a kiss nonetheless.

         "Ginny I like you, I've had for some time.  I want you to know…"

         "Harry stop…please stop.  I'm sorry, but I'm not the same person I used to be back in my first few years of school.  I never…I never really loved you, I- I admired you yes, infatuated even, but I didn't know you enough to truly love you, at least not the way you want me to.  I've learned…I've learned that love must be built upon, must grow and flourish with time, and you never took the time to get to really know me Harry.  I'm sorry.  I'm sorry I can't be who you want me to be, and I'm sorry that I can't return your love.  I just…god I'm so sorry Harry but you must understand that you don't really love me, or like me for that matter.  You like the idea of being with me, and that's fine but I can't live like that."

         "But we can get to know each other better, that's the whole point Ginny." He pleaded.  He looked so vulnerable then and for a slight moment and old feeling of longing came back from the past.  But it was gone as soon as it arrived for I have found the only person I could ever love, I found my soulmate the night a blonde haired gray-eyed figure walked into my life.

         "No Harry, no.  I heard a quote once; it does not do to dwell on dreams, right?  This…this is an infatuation, just a dream.  I-I've found the person I was truly meant for in my life.  No-I can't tell you his name, and I doubt you would really care to hear it.  But I will tell you me means the world to me, and nothing could ever change that.  I'm going to go now Harry.  I will talk to you later."

         "Goodbye Ginny…" He said forlornly.

         "And Harry?" I said as I walked towards the door of the common room.

         "Yeh?" He responded.

         "May you find someone who loves you as much as you love them, you deserve it." I smiled as I walked out of the room.

         Draco cornered me as I neared the end of the hallway.  He grabbed my wrist and we both went flying into the nearest deserted classroom. 

         "I've been waiting all day for you all day.  Ran into Weasel and Mudblood on my way out of the library.  Stupid gits were making out in the magical creatures section.  No offense."

         "None taken, I've been waiting for you all day too.  God I've missed you." I said as I walked into his arms and kissed him firmly on the mouth.  A few moments later we broke apart and for the first time I noticed what he carried in his left hand; a small white rose.

         "I remember a few weeks ago in a conversation we had that you love white roses.  I enchanted this one to stay blooming for eternity; a symbol of the two of us, together, for all eternity."  

         "Draco I love it, I love you.  This day has been so chaotic with Valentines Day and Harry announcing his feelings for me and…"

         "Potty?  He did what!" Draco nearly screamed until he remembered that he could easily been overheard.

         "He said he liked me, then asked when I stopped caring for him.  I told him that it was an infatuation, a lust really.  Then I wished him to find a true love, just like I had found…in you.  But I didn't tell him you were the one I loved; I know we can't tell anyone.  But sometimes I just feel myself wishing things were different, between us you know?  I wish that we were of the same house, of the same family type.  That this stupid war was never happening and that everything was just…"

         "Perfect?" He finished. 

         "Virginia…Ginny…I know that things seem bad right now, but when something hits the bottom…the only way it can go is up, right?  I don't know what will happen between us, but I can promise you things will get better…they must.  I love you Ginny, and I will fight till my last breath to keep you.  I want you…I want you to have something." He said as he reached into his robes and pulled out a small silver ring.  The design was old, yet new in some ways.  A small silver dragon was etched into the band and in the center of its mouth was a small blue sapphire, my favorite stone. 

         "Draco…"

         "This is a promise ring for you Ginny.  I know you can't wear it in public, too many questions, but I want you to keep it safe, protect it.  And when you're out of school, and when this stupid war is over, I want you to be mine.  I want the world to know that you belong to me.  I want them to know how much I love you."

         "I want to belong to you Draco, I want _you_." I replied.  

A/N: Okay okay I know I said I wouldn't update for a while, but I'm prolonging studying for these tests and there are only a few more chapters left to go…big climax coming up in the next few chapters and then the grand finale.  Hope you're enjoying the story so far.  And this time I'm sure that I won't have another chapter up for a while, I really have to study for finals this time…well cya

~Kandimoon


	15. Chapter Fourteen

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"If you want to view paradise, simply look around and view it. Anything you want to do it. Want to change the world? There's nothing to it."

-Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory

Chapter Fourteen

The days passed to weeks and the weeks to months and soon it was nearing the end of the school year. Sixth years and seventh years were cramming in their last few weeks of studying before the OWLS and NEWTS tests while the younger grades hurried to complete their end of the year assignments and study for their end of the year testing. My mornings were spent attending classes, my afternoons working with Professor Snape and our experiments, and my nights were reserved specifically for Draco Malfoy. 

Every Friday night around midnight, Draco was forced to leave the security of Hogwarts where upon he would meet his father and fellow Death Eaters. Although Draco would not tell me exactly the things forced upon him, I knew that whatever Lucius was making him do, it was draining the life out of him. Often times he would stop in my room early in the morning hurt and physically exhausted. My roommates never asked questions as to why there was a Slytherin passed out on my bed almost every Saturday morning and for that I am very grateful. When Draco would arise a few hours later his eyes were often glazed over and he avoided my questions about where he was and what they were doing to him. He never wanted to talk about the awful things they made him do and deep down I wasn't sure I wanted to know either. 

Sometime after the fourth weekend I talked to Professor Snape about the conditions as to which Draco was returning from. He was very helpful and gave me a few potions that would ease some of Draco's pain, for I was sure at some points they were using the Cruciatus Curse on him, and some sleep draughts so that he wouldn't be plagued with nightmares of the past. Speaking of Death Eaters, Voldemort has now exceeded his full power and war between 'good' and 'evil' has officially been called. Thousands of Aurors, Muggles, Muggle-born witches and wizards, and even regular Witch and Wizard families have died in the crossfire. Snape's act as a double agent for Dumbledore is more strained now than ever before. One small mess up on his part could cost him his life and possibly the lives of others that are helping him. 

"Professor? Where is the lacewig? Cauldron two is almost ready for it and I still can't figure out your filing technique." I asked the dark haired professor. It was Thursday and tomorrow Draco would be leaving again to go on his 'trip' to see his father. I hated Thursday's because it was always a reminder that tomorrow something awful was going to happen at Draco's hands and yet there was nothing he nor I could do about it.

"Second cabinet on your left, fourth shelf, near the back. It should be in a small clear bottle with a green tag on it." Came the reply from Snape's office. While I watched the potions, he was busy going through possible ingredients in his private storage area. 

"The potion in cauldron 5, if the results go correctly, what color should it be? The book says it should turn red but our research and papers say that it should become a dark blue?" I yelled just as he was entering the room carrying three medium sized white bottles.

"I trust our discoveries more so than a book written ten years ago. It should be a dark blue and very...potent." He added as a last comment.

"What are in the bottles, Professor?" I asked him.

"They're the ingredients I need for the Wolfsbane potion for Professor Lupin. Now I trust that while I start his potion you will continue to look after the five cauldrons?" He asked. I nodded my head yes, and added a small sigh just for effect. He knew I was capable of watching and working with his equipment and ingredients, he just liked to threaten me for kicks I imagine.

As I was stirring cauldron two I glanced at today's article for the Daily Prophet. I gasped as I read the first line of the front page.

"Professor!" I shrieked as loud as I could. 

"You have to see this." I added, not in the same tone as the first though.

"What is it?" He came rushing back as fast as he could while carrying one of the small white bottles without the lid on top.

"Look." I nearly whispered as I pointed to the front page.

**_Pettigrew killed by Ministry officials. Black pardoned._**

"Sirius is free..." I commented, more so to myself than to Snape. 

I glanced over but I could not read the expression on his face. It was totally void of any emotion whatsoever. Having overheard a conversation between my brother and his friends, I found out about Severus's and Sirius's past history. I knew Black was innocent and was on the run from the Ministry since my second year of Hogwarts, and I know how he is Harry's godfather and that for the past few years they have been conversing via owl post. He was supposedly last stationed in Swiss Alps and has been there for the last year and a half now. 

"I wonder if Harry knows?" I said a few moments later.

"I'm sure Mr. Potter was sent an immediate owl post regarding his godfathers current situation. I would not be surprised if Black was on his way to Hogwarts right this instant to see him. Now, we must get back to work Miss Weasley." He said while turning to go in the direction of his office once again.

"Professor?" I called out thinking he was already a good few feet away, however I miscalculated and as I whipped around my arm collided with Snape's elbow and the contents of the small white bottle he was carrying fell silently into the nearest cauldron.

"Fool! Miss Weasley do you know what you have done! That was the last of that particular species of dragon's blood in the country! Now I'm going to have to special order another case in time to finish Lupins potion!" He shouted angrily at me. However my mind was not in his insults or the rant he was giving. It was on the cauldron where the dragons blood was dropped in to.

Just then there was a knocking on the dungeon doors. Snape, in his fowl mood, strolled over to the door and yanked it open.

"Headmaster." Snape said as Dumbledore strode quickly into the room.

"Severus there is an emergency. Classes are to be canceled at least for the remainder of the week and a meeting is to be called for the staff tonight after dinner."

"What about Sirius, I'm sure you have heard the news of his recent pardoned?" He asked his advisor. I glanced over for just a split second to smile an acknowledgement to the Headmaster before returning to the bubbling cauldron before me.  


"He is here and safe for now. I must be gone now, I will see you soon enough." And with that the Headmaster left in a flurry of blue robes and long gray hair.

"Now Miss Weasley, as I was saying..."

"Professor...what color was cauldron five supposed to turn into again?" I asked, not even recognizing my own voice for a moment.

"Dark blue Miss Weasley...now...wait, why?" He asked.

"Sir...the dragons blood...it turned the contents of cauldron five...a dark blue..." I replied in a low voice.

"What curse are we testing for cauldron five, Virginia?" He asked in a bit of shock.

"It's the Avada Kedavra Curse sir..." 


	16. Chapter Fifteen

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"Even the smallest person can change the course of the future."

-Lord of the Rings

Chapter Fifteen

There was a few seconds of shocked silence between the two of us at our recent discovery. Both of us just stood there staring at the black cauldron that could very well be the key to winning the war for the side of Light. However, just because the potion turned the correct color after months of mixing, testing, and slaving over our work, it didn't mean that the potion would definitely work. Professor Snape was the first to clearly point that out as soon as our stupor wore off.

"It still has to be tested before we alert the Headmaster of our 'discovery'. Not point in getting his hopes up if we can prevent it. Ginny, pour a small amount of the potion into a small clear flask and bring into my back laboratory. We shall test the potion on a living creature first." He said before turning towards his office in a billow of black robes.

As barbaric as it sounded, testing an uncertain potion on a small animal, we had no other choice. To complete our task Professor Snape would have to give the lab mouse a small dose of the potion and then cast the Avada Kedavra curse upon it to see if our work proved true. 

I walked over to cauldron five and poured only a small amount of the potion into a flask. We would have to be very careful with the amount of liquid we tested for cauldron five took around 5 weeks for the contents in it to fully be ready, with or without the dragons blood.

"Miss Weasley some time today!" The impatient voice of Snape echoed through the room. I knew he didn't mean to sound angry but he was on edge about the recent results. For if this test proved true, life in the Wizard world could very well be altered greatly.

I walked in to the back laboratory that was connected to Snape's office and placed the flask on the counter nearest to the mouse cage. Snape already had a small white mouse settled in a box on one of the black surfaced tables and was preparing to feed it the dark blue liquid. 

"If our hypothesis proves true, the liquid should take seconds to come into effect. We will know by a small golden flash across the eyes. There! Did you see that Miss Weasley!" For the first time in my life I saw Professor Snape truly smile; not smirk or even a fake smile that he used all the time in public. His eyes lit up like two burning coals and his face seemed younger as the lines that were etched across his skin from constant stress, smoothed out.

"Professor, our potion only works as a shield for the Avada Kedavra curse, but only if administered one time. If the attacker found out that he or she can cast the curse again then the victim will still die." I said as he prepared for the next stage of testing.

"Very well understood, however, this potion will be given to Aurors of the Ministry and once the curse is cast upon them that will give them enough time to plan their own offensive attack. You see, Voldemort's minions will not be expecting the curse to fail them, which will throw them off balance. The Auror's can use that few seconds of precious time for their advantage and respond accordingly." He explained.

"What about the other curses? Shouldn't we keep working on finding a cure for those too?"

"Miss Weasley, the other Unforgivable Curses, as bad as they may be, are not immediately fatal. The Imperious Curse only lets another administer your actions, and the Cruciatus Curse causes a vast amount of pain, but in either you don't immediately die. The Avada Kedavra curse stops your heart the second the green light touches your skin. That is why we must focus on this one first and foremost. I fear after today we may not have much longer to work on improvements. Voldemort is rising faster than ever and he may not wait until Potter is out of school to attack. Now on to the testing, place the box with the mouse over on the left counter and stand far away from it Ginny."

I did as he asked and after placing the cardboard box on the correct location I stepped back behind Snape and waited for the incantation.

"Avada Kedavra!" He shouted as a vast green light escaped from the tip of his wand and headed straight for the helpless white mouse. I wanted to shut my eyes in fear but I forced them to stay open. I wouldn't go back to being a coward ever again.

A dark blue barrier appeared around the mouse the minute the green light touched its fur. The mouse merely blinked its beady black eyes and resumed running around his small cardboard box as if nothing ever happened. Again Professor Snape and I stood there motionless.

A few seconds later the two of us were running like children up into the Headmasters office. To the few people in the hallways that we passed we looked like two kids who just found a room full of candied sweets in their room. Snape with the potion and I with the mouse, we nearly knocked over the stone gargoyle in our haste to get to Dumbledore's chambers. Snape shouted the password (peppermint sticks) and we proceeded to run up the stairway and flew through the wooden doorway just as Dumbledore was about to sit back at his desk.

"Professor...we...found...the...cure...can't...breathe...hold on." Snape began as we almost doubled over from the long run from the dungeons to the Headmasters office. Now if we were thinking clearly, which we weren't, we probably should have just used floo powder, but the excitement clouded our rational thought.

Dumbledore's clear blue eyes sparkled brightly with curiosity and hope.

"Cure? For which curse?" He was now standing back up and walking over to Snape with a glass of water that he conjured with his wand.

"What he was trying to say Professor is that we found a defense for the Avada Kedavra curse." I explained. By now he was smiling brighter than ever I have seen before. 

"Explain Miss Weasley, for the two of you may have just changed the lives of many people." I glanced confused for a minute by his words but I was too excited to care. I hurriedly explained our recent discovery, and the manner to which it was founded.

"So you knocked over a glass that Severus was using for Remus's wolfsbane potion and that is how you found this cure? And this potion only works one time if taken before the curse is administered? Am I correct?"

Both Snape and I nodded and I set the box with the white mouse on a stool in the far corner of the room. Snape placed a few drops of the blue liquid into the mouse's mouth and waited for the golden light to flicker across the beady black eyes once again.

"You see Professor, one can easily defect the curse using the potion but one dose per attack. It takes only a matter of seconds for the liquid to run its course through the entire body and once it has a golden flash will appear in the person's eyes. The Janovive leaves do this because of the reaction of the liquid and the blood. Once the potion has taken affect anyone can cast the curse and when the green light hits the victim, a dark blue shield will surround the person but only for a minute. The power of the Avada Kedavra curse is great and this potion does not have enough strength the last through two attacks. However, you only need a few drops of the potion for it to work. Too much of the potion is lethal to a person's health for the dragons blood can be used also as a poison if given in large amounts." I explained. Dumbledore nodded his head in understanding and Snape proceeded with the demonstration. Just like the first time as the green light reached the white mouse a dark blue barrier appeared around it and the curse was deflected. This time though we would have to prove that the potion could not be used for a second attack and Snape continued to administer the curse again. This time the green light consumed the mouse and it fell over dead in a matter of seconds.

"I am at a loss of words for once in my long life. I am proud of the both of you for your accomplishments, however you must speak of this potion to no one. If word of this recent discovery leaked to the Dark forces than the both of you will be in great danger, and so would our cause. I need you both to start another batch of this potion immediately and bring the current cauldron up into my office where it will be locked up safe. I will notify the council of Aurors of this startling technology at once and when this war is complete you both shall be greatly awarded for your contributions. Miss Weasley, it is getting late and I must advise you to return to your tower. Severus, we still must attend that meeting, however I feel there may be a brighter ending than originally intended."

I bid goodnight to the Headmaster and on my way out I gave Snape a quick hug of congratulations. He was shocked at first that I could tell from the look on his face, but then he returned it just as quick and we parted for the evening. 

On my way to Gryffindor tower I noticed a black shadow moving away in the reflection of a set of armor. However I didn't really think about it at the time for I was too happy to really care at the moment. Now I would be able to save Draco, I may now be able to help him as he has helped me all these past few months.

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	17. Chapter Sixteen

A/N: Hey everyone. I'm on a writing kick so more chapters will soon be following...maybe one a day maybe two...this chapters a tearjerker so beware! It's nearing the end of school, Draco's being summoned, the potion is now ready for the Aurors, the final battle is approaching and I still have some good kicks up my sleeves. Many twists and turns to come. Enjoy and review (I love reviews!!!)

~Kandimoon

__ "Only the Phoenix rises and does not descend, __

And everything changes

And nothing is truly lost."

-Neil Gaiman

Chapter Sixteen

As I neared the portrait of the Fat Lady a hand came up from behind me and covered my mouth. I screamed into the pale hand.

"Quiet, do you want the entire tower to hear you?" A soft, dark voice whispered into my ears. Upon hearing the sound I recognized it immediately.

"Next time don't scare me like that and maybe I won't scream." I replied as I turned to face Draco. He already had his black cloak on signifying our customary trip to the Astronomy tower.

"Give me a few seconds to go in and grab my stuff and I'll..."

"Ginny, I'm not here to take you up to the Astronomy Tower like planned. Something...something has come up and I have to leave Hogwarts immediately. There is no time to explain, I must go. Virginia...I don't know if I'll be back."

"What do you mean you won't know if you'll be back? What's going on Draco, tell me!" I pleaded, tears already gathering behind my eyes. I feared whatever was happening, it had to do with the cancellation of classes and the emergency staff meeting called for tonight.

"I can't tell you Ginny, for it puts my life in danger just coming here to see you this minute, it puts both of our lives in danger. I must go, I fear...I fear I may never see you again. I love you, you know? Loved you more than anything, or anyone. You deserve so much more than what I can give you. Maybe...maybe you should take Potter up on that offer, ya know? He isn't so bad in the long run...for a Gryffindor anyway. He could provide better for you, maybe even love you the way you should be loved. I'm sorry Virginia, I never asked for this life, and if by some slim chance that the Dark wins, then I shall beg the Dark Lord to spare your life, for you are a pureblood and an asset to us. I'm so very sorry Virginia Weasley." A tear fell silently down his right eye, shining brighter than any crystal in the sun or moonlight.

"You will NOT leave me this way Draco Malfoy I forbid it! And go out with Harry Potter! You never side with him, why now! Why can't you tell me what's going on? Why can't anyone? I hate being in the dark like this Malfoy! I hate it and I will not let you go now! Not when we just found each other! I want to spend my life with you, please Draco don't go! Don't leave me here alone! I beg you please!" The tears fell like a waterfall from my chocolate brown eyes. I clutched the front of his robes in a death grip, as if it to physically hold him there; hold him to me and never let go. Why must our lives be this way? Why aren't things ever fair in life?

"Goodbye Virginia Weasley, you have my heart." And with a soft kiss and a blur of black robes he was gone. Maybe for now...maybe forever, I wasn't sure. I crumbled to my knees, the happiness from earlier today completely warn off as despair too over my heart.

"You have my soul Draco Malfoy." I whispered into the empty corridor.

Hermione found my outside the Gryffindor tower entrance about twenty minutes later. She helped me into the common room and set me down on one of the red velvet chairs. 

"Ginny, what's wrong?" She asked. Ron and Harry suddenly appeared from behind her, both with curious looks on their face. As if they care! I thought.

"Everything's wrong alright! Nothing is ever right! Unless you can magically make this awful war disappear don't bother to ask me what's wrong!" I screamed and ran up the stairs to the 6th year girls dorm rooms. My roommates were not there thankfully and I threw myself on the bed and hugged my pillow.

"Ginny?" A voice sounded from beside me. I looked over to see my brother kneeling beside my bed. For once he wasn't followed by the 'Dream Team'.

"What." I stated quietly. All emotion drained out of me, anger, hurt, happiness, my body was empty.

"I know I haven't spent much time with you in the last few years. And I know that you probably don't want to talk to me right now but I just wanted to say that, well I'm sorry. I'm sorry for not looking after you as an older brother should. I'm sorry for putting my friends before my family. I know I can't make you forgive me, I don't feel I really deserve your forgiveness at least right now. I worry about you though, even if I can't always show it. I really do care about you, you're my little sister, my only sister. And...if you ever need someone to talk to, I'll be here, even if you have to knock me over with a broomstick to get my attention." He finished with a slight smirk. 

Two years of loneliness, three years of neglect, and eternity of pain...and suddenly...suddenly I looked at Ron with a new light. Maybe I shouldn't have blamed him so much in the past. He was entitled to live his life after all, and yet I was mad because he hasn't paid much attention to me. During the summers we would talk on occasion, and the only reason I truly hated him to begin with was because he knew what he wanted out of life and I didn't. What a selfish reason to neglect a family member. 

"You needn't ask for forgiveness, you haven't done anything wrong except live your life. I don't blame you for not always being there, for in truth I probably would have gotten sick of you if you WERE always there." We laughed slightly at this last part.

"However, I know you want to be with your friends, and I'm just in the way most of the time. No...don't say anything please? Just...can you leave me alone for a while? Please? So much has happened and...well I just need to rest." He nodded as he got up to leave the room. He turned around just as he was at the door.

"You know Harry really does care about you." He commented.

"I know he does, but not the way he thinks." Ron nodded in agreement. Harry may have cared about me, may have even liked me, or what he thought he knew about me. But he didn't love me, only one guy truly loved me, and he was now at the clutches of the utmost evil being ever in history. 

"Take care Ginny."

"Goodnight Ron." 'And goodluck.' I added the last part to myself. For Ron was best friends with Voldemorts biggest threat, and in the next few days their friendship will be ultimately tested. 


	18. Chapter Seventeen

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"She couldn't cry. All her tears had been scorched away. But her heart felt as if it had been torn open."

-The Secret Circle

Chapter Seventeen

Pain. I woke the next morning to a vast amount of pain. The green emerald stone on my necklace was bright with color. Screams of panic rang loudly from the Gryffindor Common Room. I grabbed the first pair of robes I could find and stepped into some house slippers. Upon my arrival I was met with the devastated faces of many of my fellows classmates. 

"What's going on?" I asked my brother as he tried to calm down a hysterical Hermione.

"Voldemort has attacked every family of Muggle-born students who attend Hogwarts. There were no survivors." Ron too was crying. I noticed for the first time ever he said the Dark Lord's name without a shudder of fear. I felt sorry for all those effected, truly sorry. Many of them were only children and now would have to face the rest of their lives as orphans. There was no doubt however that my mother, being the kind hearted she is towards everyone but me sometimes, would take in Hermione as one of her own. Hermione was practically family now anyway, for it's only a matter of time before Ron officially proposes to her.

"Ginny, Dumbledore wants to see us now." A voice stated from behind me and I turned around towards the face of Harry Potter. I nodded in understanding and followed him out through the portrait of the Fat Lady.

We were joined in the Headmasters office by Professors Snape and McGonagall, both with grim looks on their faces. Even Dumbledore's eyes have lost their traditional twinkle that was so often associated with him.

"I am afraid to report the sad news of the students families that were taken away from us this past night. Miss Weasley I am afraid to report to you that Mr. Malfoy was among the crowd of Death Eaters that were spotted at these raids. I know of your association with him and I strongly advise you to stay close to Hogwarts. There are rumors spreading around the Dark crowd of your closeness to both Severus and Draco and I'm afraid you are in great danger. Now, Harry, I called you here because you are the only person to have repeatedly come across Voldemort and defeated him each time. Professor Snape and Miss Weasley have been for the last few months, conducting an experiment to find a defense against the Unforgivable Curses. They have succeeded in completing a one time only defense against the Avada Kedavra spell. However only a small amount of the potion was made, as it was still in its trial periods. Small flasks of the potion were given to a select few and I strongly feel that you too should carry one. Voldemort is planning a full out attack within a couple days times and we will need all of the best wizards in the field. You are one of our greatest allies, and you too Ginny. We would also like your help but however if you were caught, your knowledge could also be our greatest threat. Now, I advise you to each go back to your dorms and rest for the remainder of the day, for it shall prove to be a long one. Severus, Minerva, I still would like to talk to you. Good day Mr. Potter, Miss Weasley."

We walked down the corridor and back to our tower in silence. That is until Harry turned me around suddenly with an angered look in his eyes.

"So that's why you turned me down, it was because of Malfoy! He's evil Ginny, evil and a Death Eater for God's sake! How could you betray Gryffindor, and your family, like that!"

"I didn't ask to fall in love with him Harry! But he was the only one who saw how unhappy I was and was willing to help me! Where were you those nights I cried myself to sleep? Huh? Where? Want to know where he was? He was right there beside me holding my hand. When I was sad he held me close, when I was sick he stayed beside me in the hospital bed! Want to know why I love him Harry? Because he was there when everyone else wasn't!" I shouted and turned around in the opposite direction of the dorm. 

"Ginny...wait! I'm sorry okay!"

However I didn't really hear the rest. I was down the hall and heading to the front doors of the school without thinking of where I was going. All I know was I had to get out of here. I had to escape this prison. Too much was happening all at once. 

'Draco was there last night...he took a human life.' I knew before that he was sent on 'missions' but I never really believed, or wanted to believe, what really went on those dark nights. Now there was no overlooking it. They were turning Draco into a true Death Eater, a killer; a horrible evil creature of darkness.

"Virginia!" A voice called from the doorway of the castle. But by now I was walking along the grounds and was too far away to hear much of what was being screamed at me. I turned towards the doors but a black shadow came over me.

A suddenly there was blessed darkness...

"It is a Weasley. See from the hair." A voice hissed from somewhere nearby.

"It's their girl Virginia. Rumor is she has been getting too close with the Slytherins lately. Particularly their Head of House and a certain dragon." Another voice, this one much deeper than the first, added. I cracked my eyes just a bit and took in my surroundings.

It was dark cell, from a first quick glance. I wasn't lying on a bed, more like a stiff board of wood from the feel of it. Dark colored candles scarcely lit the diminutive room. Three figures gathered around the doorway, obviously waiting for someone.

"He should be here soon, I imagine." The third voice squeaked, for this person had a high pitched squeaky sort of voice.

Suddenly the door burst open and five more figures entered the room.

"She is to be sent up to the Dark Lord immediately. Now wake her!" The voice shouted loudly.

"Crucio!"

A sudden burst of pain shot through my every limbs and I nearly fell off the makeshift bed had it not been for the two sets of arms holding me upright. 

"Raise your eyes to me, child." The voice hissed again. 

"I am not afraid of you Lucius Malfoy." I spat at him. Red-hot anger breached his face and he would have struck his fist at me had his son not intervened. My body still aching from the Cruciatus Curse placed upon me, I was quietly dragged up into a large dining hall that was considerably fixed up to look like a throne room. And seated on a small black velvet chair was the very cause of all of the evil that has currently possessed our world.

"Hello there Voldemort, things going well for you lately?" I cheerily asked. I was doomed, there was no way around that. They would kill me no matter if I remained submissive or outspoken, for I was just like any other witch in our world. 

"You should learn to hold your tongue Miss Weasley, or my minions would enjoy cutting it slowly out of you." He replied. At the thought of my tongue being unceremoniously ripped out of my mouth I swallowed hard. Maybe I should have stuck with submissiveness.

"What would it matter, I'm dead either way." I retorted back to him. He smiled for a second, his two slits for nostrils flaring slightly.

"You have courage my sweet. But amongst us you are but a small mouse in a room full of hungry cats. Now onto business. Rumor is that you have been working on a potion that is said to defend against the Unforgivable Curses, is that correct?"

My face remained impassive but my mind was jumping hysterically. 'How could he possibly know that information?' Though Snape was a double agent he would not report that news to the Dark Lord no matter how much he was tortured. So how did our information leak?

"I have no idea what you're talking about sir." I replied.

"You lie Miss Weasley. Now I want to know how you made such a potion. You will tell me, or otherwise I will have to use a Truth Spell to get the information out of you. For that is how I found out about the potion to begin with. Draco, why don't you tell Miss Weasley how you gathered the information about the potion for me?"

I looked over at Draco, anger flaring in my eyes. How could he betray me like that! Did our love mean nothing to him! But I never told Draco about the potion being completed, so how did he know? And then it hit me.

A dark figure drifting off into the shadows. Dumbledores office. Draco overheard our conversation with the Headmaster. 


	19. Chapter Eighteen

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"The bad thing about experience is that it teaches you the stuff you don't want to know."

-Unknown

Chapter Eighteen

"Traitor! You lying son of a bitch! You used me to get the information about the potion! God why was I so blind!" I screamed at the pale, blonde haired man before me. A small smirk lit up on the face of Draco's father.

"You didn't think that my son would actually care for a poor excuse of a witch like you, now did you? My son is destined to marry an upper class pureblooded witch, and carry on the Malfoy name in honor, by taking my place at our lords side, like he rightfully should." He said while smiling evilly. I looked over into Draco's pale gray eyes, I had to know the truth; I was dying to know it.

"Tell me the truth Draco." I stated sternly. 

"Yes Master Malfoy, tell the witch exactly what you have been up to all this time. Tell her about how you were there the night her friends were killed in that pathetic Muggle bookshop. Tell her how they screamed at your bloodied hands and begged you for mercy. Tell her about the raids you have so happily partaken in. Tell her about the screaming voices and pain they went through right before you finished them off. And don't forget to mention how you followed her, everywhere, followed and listened. Foolish girl, Draco is mine and shall always be one of mine, he never loved you." Voldemorts voiced hissed from his place at the front of the room. Had the two Death Eaters that dragged me up not been holding my arms and body upright, I would have collapsed under my recent discovery.

He was there that night. He killed the only two people that ever meant anything to me. God how could I have let myself open to this again. How could I have been so naive, so stupid as to let myself believe that someone actually cared about me? "Bastard!" I screamed at him. I silently watched, not paying attention to Voldemort giving the other Death Eaters orders, as Draco reached towards his neck and touch the black stone resting there. 

'I'm sorry.' I heard his voice whisper in my mind.

'Get away from me, traitor! Why did I believe that maybe for once in my life I finally found a reason to live, a reason to love! And you took that all away from me! Want to know what I think of this stupid necklace?' I screamed back to him telepathically. I reached under my robe and grasped the piece of hemp at the base of my neck and tore it off in one quick swipe. I heard Draco scream as the stone was flung off my skin. "That's what I think of it!" I hollered. All noise in the room fell silent as the emerald shattered into thousands of tiny splints among the rough stone floor. I glanced over to see Draco's reaction, however his face remained impassive throughout the entire ordeal, even though his inner voice was screaming in pain. Good, it serves him right.     
"That was an...amusing display...Miss Weasley. But I do not have time to watch you tear apart every piece of jewelry that you own. I want the ingredients for your curse defensive potion and I want it now! I am not always such a patient man, Virginia. And those that do not obey me suffer dire consequences." Voldemort hissed. I knew I was in danger no matter if I gave him the potion ingredients or not. However even if I DID give him the ingredients, it would be of no use. The potion needed weeks to prepare and simmer and some of the ingredients were quite rare to find. This battle, or war, was not going to hold much longer and Voldemort would not have the time or the resources to complete even a small dose of my potion. So what should it matter? No...I couldn't betray the Headmaster that way, besides...what good was my life now anyway? My only reason for survival has betrayed me, far worse than any pain that was caused by Tom those two years ago. Tom broke my body, but Draco...Draco broke my heart, my soul. I was nothing anymore.     
"You can torture me, you can kill me, but I will never tell you anything Voldemort. I won't give in to you. Your reign is over." I said as I looked straight into his glowing red eyes.     
"Crucio!" He screamed as a white-hot fire raged through my body. I didn't cry though, I didn't scream. I just let the pain consume me as though it was something I was used, like it was a mere pinch on my skin. 

I smiled. Draco blanched. Lucius was ragging mad and Voldemort arose in a billow of black robes with a look to kill etched upon his snake-like features.

"Nothing can hurt me anymore Voldemort." I stated with a smile.

"Then you shall die Miss Weasley." He replied with a sneer, and a smile of his own.

"Avada Kedavra!" 

I watched as the green light neared me but I wasn't scared. A bright dark blue shield erupted as the green light tried to penetrate my skin and stop my heart. I smiled even brighter than. For I knew that the potion only worked once, but I knew for certain that Voldemort didn't know. Draco may have overheard our conversation to Dumbledore, but when I told the Headmaster it only worked once, I made sure my voice was soft enough not to penetrate the walls of the office. No one but a select few knew of the potions true qualities.

"If I can not kill you with magic, then you shall die like the mortal you are!" He shouted as he conjured up a long metal sword out of thin air. This was it; this was the final stroke, for there was no potion to protect me against the blade of a sword. I watched as Voldemort came near me but then stopped.

"No, I shall not be the one to kill you. Draco! Come here. You are the one she loves, and you will be the last thing she sees before she dies." He handed the sword to Draco who took it albeit reluctantly. 

"I'm sure you will enjoy this." I told him as he neared proximity.

"You don't understand Virginia." He pleaded with me with his eyes, but I was not going to fall for his lies again.

"End it Draco Malfoy. Spill my blood the same as you have to my friends. Kill me, I dare you."

He raised the sword back in the air ready to strike through my torso, but I wasn't watching. I kept my gaze on his eyes as he brought the blade closer to my flesh. 

"Goodbye lover." I whispered into his ear right as the tip of the sword neared my stomach.

"Stop!" 


	20. Chapter Nineteen

A/N: Well this is the second to last chapter. Battle ensures. What will happen to our hero and heroine? Twists, turns, and many shocking surprises (well not THAT many). What will become of the evil dark lord Voldemort? Scroll down. (keep up those reviews please! I love the compliments and suggestions!)

Italics means that it is a flash back.  I should have put this scene in earlier but I only got the idea now.  So near the end the italics means that she's thinking back to an even that happened, yet I didn't write it out in any previous chapter. Thanks!

~Kandimoon

_"Don't be afraid to be weak, don't be too proud to be strong, just look into your heart my friend and that will be the return to yourself, the return to innocence...just believe in destiny, don't care what people say, just follow your own way."_

_         -Enigma_

Chapter Nineteen

         "Stop" A voice cried from the doorway as an on-group of Aurors burst through the tall oak door, led by Albus Dumbledore, Harry Potter, Severus Snape, Ron Weasley, and Hermione Granger. I turned back towards Draco and suddenly I realized that he never meant to strike me with the sword. 

         "Goodbye father! May you rot in hell!" He shouted as he brought the blade cutting across his fathers pale neck. The head of Lucius Malfoy fell down to the ground with a sickening plop. I wanted to gag, I wanted to gag and vomit and run like hell to get out of this disgusting place but I knew I couldn't. I had to stay and help fight along with them, I had to help win.

         "Ginny I tried to tell you. I never betrayed you."

         And suddenly I understood everything that was going on. Draco never betrayed me to begin with. Draco was waiting for Snape that day we were in Dumbledore's office. Draco was probably telling Snape about the upcoming gathering and attacks. He must have somehow overheard our conversation that day about the potion and...

         "He put a truth spell on you, didn't he? Your father thought something was going on so he made you say everything that you knew and you told him about the potion unwillingly." He nodded in response. Yes, Draco never betrayed me, not on purpose anyway. He was forced into confession, for that is also how they found out about our relationship and my work with Professor Snape, for no one else in Hogwarts was aware of either to begin with. 

         "Traitor!" Voldemort shouted at Draco. Suddenly I remembered that we were not alone in the room. Aurors were busy fighting off a team of Death Eaters that surrounded the outer walls of the room. Harry, Dumbledore and Snape were standing in front of Voldemort prepared for attack while Hermione and Ron were rushing over towards me.

         "Ginny are you okay?" Ron asked as he reached my side. I knew deep down that he hated Malfoy for all of his past sins, but after seeing how Draco killed his own father, I think a new light was entering Ron's eyes and the glare he gave him was not nearly as bad as before all of this started.

         "I'm fine, Ron. Do all of you have the potion with you?" I asked. Both of them nodded. 

         "Good."

         "So Mr. Potter, we meet again. For the last time I'm sure. And Albus...still hanging on I see? This is not your fight old man, this is between me and the boy." Voldemort hissed.

         "Dark Minions!" He bellowed. "Kill these Muggle-loving fools!" 

         More Death Eaters erupted from hidden walls built into the room. We were beginning to become outnumbered. Back up was on its way but the potion would not last through another attack. Already people's bottles were running dangerously low and Voldemort soon caught on to our hidden secret about having to replenish after each attack. He smiled again at his newfound discovery.

         "Well Miss Weasley...it seems your potion is not all that helpful after all is it? Too bad you know, had you joined our side, I would have paid you a fortune to help us. But you too shall die with all your pathetic friends. Potter! I should have finished you off ages ago! Avada Kedavra!" Voldemort screamed as a green light approached Harry once again. However the potion deflected the attack and Harry was still standing upright as he had been before the spell was cast.

         "Harry watch out!" Ron cried as he saw that Voldemort was preparing another attack immediately. Harry didn't have enough time to get the potion out of his robes and swallow.

         "Hey Voldemort, too chicken to go after any of us?" Ron cried as he tried to take Voldemorts attention away from Harry until he could refill the counter-curse potion.

         "Foolish boy." Voldemort smirked as he cast the killing spell again. However at the last minute he directed his wand towards Ron and my brother dropped to the floor a second later.

         "Ron!" I heard Hermione cry as she raced forward to gather her boyfriend in his arms. 

         "Hermione get out of here...go! You both were out of potion, you're in danger just staying there!" I shouted over to her. 

         "I'm not leaving him!" She cried.

         "He's already gone!" And suddenly it hit me. The realization that just took place hit me in full force. God, my brother is dead...and I never got a chance to say goodbye. 

         "Mourn later Virginia, this is far from done. I know its hard but please listen to me, Voldemort is still alive and dangerous. We have to help Harry and the others." Draco whispered in my ear and I nodded in understanding. He was right. We could mourn later, but now, now was time for revenge.

         Snape by this point was helping the Aurors fight off the incoming Death Eaters. We watched as Harry and Dumbledore prepared a counter attack again Voldemort. However Harry seemed to be struggling with something.

         "Well well Mr. Potter. What's wrong? Can't get your potion out can you? Too bad..." Voldemort cried.

         "Crucio!" 

         Dumbledore was whispering an incantation under his breath as Harry fell over in pain from the curse. 

         We watched the potion drop and spill to the floor, shards of glass flying everywhere...

         "Harry!" I cried as he stumbled to get up off the floor.

         "Silence brat! Crucio!" He aimed towards me. This time I was not prepared and I dropped to my knees as the pain engulfed me.

         "Now boy, I've waited years for this moment. Avada Kedavra!"

         "Harry!" I screamed.

         Suddenly Draco flung himself in front of Harry, the killing curse hitting his lower back in mid-flight. I watched in horror as his limp body hit the ground almost silently. 

         "Draco! No!" But I couldn't get over to him for another curse hit me from behind, breaking one of my legs and crushing at least two of my ribs instantaneously. However I still managed to stumble over minutes later.

         The next few minutes were a complete blur to me, yet it will remain etched in my memory for all eternity. Harry and Dumbledore were shouting an ancient, yet familiar incantation. Within seconds the bodies of Voldemort and Dumbledore collapsed in a lifeless heap. The spell, not used since the time of the Ancient Egyptians, took some of the users life energy and destroyed the evilness in another's. Voldemort, being completely evil with no sign of mortality, simply was cremated in a matter of seconds after the attack his body and spirit disintegrated into a pile of dust. Dumbledore, though powerful he is, used too much of his life energy in destroying the evil and therefore had not enough life-force to sustain himself. 

         Harry dropped to his knees in pain and agony, mourning the loss of not only his best friend and teacher, but also the others that suffered under Voldemort's evilness. Cedric Diggory in his fourth year, his parents when he was but a child, and throughout the years various classmates.

         Severus Snape hunched over the lifeless body of Albus Dumbledore and wept. It was sad seeing a grown man such as Professor Snape completely lose control of his emotions. But then again, Severus has done so much in his life and Dumbledore was the first and pretty much the only one who ever entirely forgave him for his past sins. 

         Hermione still clutched the cold body of brother as if begging for him to come back to life. She stopped crying now, she was however talking to him, hoping that maybe his spirit was still listening. She kept repeating how they planned to spend the rest of their lives together and how happy they would have been. Then she yelled at him for leaving her alone this way. Then she simply rested her tear-stained cheek next to his pale face and stayed there...for such a long time...

         I glanced down at Draco then, still not able to comprehend what all has happened.

         "So many sad faces today…right lover?  But us…we'll always be there for each other, cause you'll never leave me.  You promised." I said as I gathered him close to me.  I laid my hand right over his chest, pretending it was still beating.  

         _"I don't know what your fascination is with Muggle stuff.  Even their songs are so…abnormal." Draco said as he held me tight as we watched the stars shine brightly in the sky._

_         "I happen to like their songs.  Besides…you seemed to like that duet I was humming the other day…how did it go?…" I teased, surprised when he took the bait._

_         "Baby let's cruise…" He started.  I laughed for a second at his attempt to be thoroughly sincere and loving.  It was very comical.  _

_         "Away, from here…" I replied.  Trying to match the expression on his face but failing miserably._

_         "Don't be confused…"_

_         "The way…is clear…"_

_         "And if you want it you got it forever…this is not a one night stand…" We both sang together._

_         "Baby…yeah." I replied.._

_         "So let the music take your mind.  Just release and you will find." We both continued.  It was endearing, listening to Draco sing._

_         "You're gonna fly away." I sang to him, looking him lovingly in the eye._

_         "Glad you're going my way." He sang back and winked seductively._

_         "I love it when we're crusin' together…"_

_         "Promise never to leave me Draco." I whispered._

_         "I'll never leave you Virginia."_

"You're gonna fly away…glad you're going my way.  I love it when we're crusin' together…" I sang softly to him.  I watched as more people filed into the room to remove the bodies of those taken from us, but I didn't move, and I didn't let go of my love either.  We stayed there…just the two of us…and I sang to him.  I just kept on singing…

         "I love it when we're crusin together…"

         "You promised…" I whispered into his ear as I watched the others take him away.

A/N: This isn't the end! More to come soon.  I think I'll let you guys sweat for a while after I post this one.  How evil of me right? Thank you for all your great reviews and keep them coming, I appreciate it!

~Kandimoon


	21. Epilogue

A/N: Well folks…this is it.  Final chapter of my story.  Those of you who have read and responded, I thank you all so much for the feed back. I have an idea for a new story but I think it will be some time before I post anything new yet.  I want to see how things fair with this story first. Well enjoy!

_"And where are you now,_

_Now that I need you?_

_Tears on my pillow wherever you go._

_I'll cry me a river, that leads to your ocean_

_You never see me fall apart,_

_In the words of a broken hear."_

_         -Destiny's Child_

Epilogue

         "It's been twenty years Draco." I said to the stone monument.  The white rose still stood perfectly un-weathered, sparkling brightly in the moon's silver rays.  Silver, the color of his eyes when he was angry.  He always had such beautiful eyes.

         "I should have visited more often, I'm sorry about that.  But after THAT day, things were always a bit…well…shaky.  We threw a great memorial for all of those who…passed away.  Hermione was still upset over Ron's death, and Harry and Snape over Dumbledores.  I think I was the only one not crying at the funeral.  I knew you hated tears, I remembered how one time long ago you thought they were signs of weakness…or maybe that was me?  I don't really remember anymore…that was so long ago."

         "I never got to fully thank you for all the help and happiness that you brought into my life, no matter how short our time was.  You've influenced me more than you'll ever know, for it was you who was my inspiration when things didn't go right.  To this day I still think 'What would Draco have done had he still been alive?  What would my life be like had he survived that battle?'  Such foolish thoughts, I know, but ones that I can't keep from thinking so often.  It's been twenty years Draco, but in my heart it's only been a matter of minutes."

         "Before I get too sentimental on you, I suppose I should tell you what has happened with the survivors of that faithful night…"

         "Hermione spent the next few months in a great depression.  Harry and I tried to be there for her but we were still battling our own demons so we were not much help.  She still managed to score fairly high in her NEWTS, given the events that took place.  She now works for the Ministry, I'm not sure her exact job but I know it involves researching and finding information for various things…just what she was always good at.  She married too, Terry Boot of Ravenclaw…who would have thought?  After the 'incident' many of the remaining students tried to become close with others who they normally didn't hang out with.  I guess it was so they could share their pain amongst them or something.  Anyhow, they've been married for a good 12 years now and their daughter is going to be going to Hogwarts soon.  She's really adorable…I've gotten to babysit her once and a while when she was younger.  A bright kid, just like her parents.  By the way…did I mention that McGonagall is the Headmistress?  I guess that was kind of obvious…"

         "Well speaking of Hogwarts, Professor Snape retired from teaching.  He married the new Potions Mistress…I'd say about three years after I left school… They have a son and a daughter…both in Hogwarts now.  Snape has his own Potions researching facility in Hogsmeade, and get this…I work for him!  Well only when I'm around that is.  But for the most part I'm there for a couple weeks at a time.  Though we've fined tuned our Avada Kedavra curse potion and have worked on a few others along the way, we haven't had a need for it yet.  It's been very peaceful since Voldemort's destruction, and I'm hoping it'll stay that way for a long time."

         "Well Harry continued to be what we always thought he WOULD be.  He's an Auror for the Ministry, only when he's not playing Seeker for the Chudley Cannons.  His reason was that Ron would have wanted it that way, and I agree, Ron would have been very proud to hear that."

         "Did I mention that Harry and I got married?  No?  Well it wasn't right away…it wasn't even a few years after the battle.  It was over a decade after I graduated from Hogwarts, and it took a lot of convincing on my part.  I've never truly loved Harry, not the way I loved and still love you.  We, well we were soulmates…nothing can ever replace what has been lost.  Harry and I…yes…we love each other, and we get along great too, but it's just not the same.  We're like…close friends who share a past together…but we do care greatly about the other…and for our two boys.  They are my life now…and I would give up everything for their happiness and survival if need be."

         "Well I guess you want to know about me now don't you?  I never went back to my family…I know I should have but I didn't.  I scored fairly well on my OWLS that sixth year, also given the circumstances.  I spent that summer living with Snape at his mansion right outside Hogsmeade.  We worked on the potion and talked about all that was going on recently.  I know he wasn't always the most social teacher…but I guess since we had a connection to one another…it just made it that much more easier to confide in one another.  Snape left at the end of that year…"

         "I got through my last year okay.  Our class size was incredibly small so we covered a lot more material than normal.  But I guess my mind wasn't on my work all that much.  I started writing that year, right after Christmas.  Snape gave me a small black journal…he said it was so I could write out my pain instead of bare it all inside of me.  It worked too…in a way."

         "So after I graduated, still not speaking to my family and they never tried to contact me either, I went to stay with Hayley (remember I mentioned the Sinclairs…well it's their granddaughter who lived in the States).  We split an apartment and there I enrolled into a local university and studied Chemistry and other forms of Muggle Science.  It was very interesting and I enjoyed it greatly.  I even went on to earn my Phd!  How exciting is that?  Dr. Virginia Potter…it has a fairly good ring to it doesn't it?  But anyway after I graduated from the university, by now I was newly married and soon to be pregnant, I came back to England and that's when Professor…I mean Dr. Snape allowed me to work with him at his Potions facility.  We've helped a lot of people since then."

         "God I miss you…so much each day that it sometimes hurts to think about.  Harry understands…even after all this time he understands and I love him greatly for that.  You promised you would never leave and yet you gave your life so that Harry could live…He honors you greatly for that.  He's felt guilty ever since, because of the way he treated you before, he never would have thought that you would save him some day.  I don't think any of us were prepared for that day."

         "Did I tell you I wrote a book?  When Snape gave me that journal in my seventh year of school I decided to record everything that has happened…everything.  Not one detail, however small, went missed.  A few years ago I decided to turn the story of my life into a published piece of work.  It's been a great hit worldwide.  I'm now working on a second on…it's a love story…almost like Romeo and Juliet…almost like us."

         "By the way lover…the story of my life…my first published piece of writing…I entitled it 'A Face in the Shadows' for that is what I was before I met you, Draco Malfoy."

         "Mum?  Dad's waiting for us, dinner will be ready soon." My youngest son called to me from where he sat resting on a bench far off in the clearing.

         "Yes sweet, I'm coming…Just give me a few seconds.  Run along, I'll catch up." I called to him as I watched his dark red hair blow haphazardly in the wind.

         "You were my shining light lover, you were my soul.  Rest in peace."

         Things happen in our world that we have no control over.  We are born, we live, and then we die, that is our great circle of life.  Nothing is ever gone forever, for in our next life…wherever that may be…we will always find the ones we loved, the ones we lost.  In the meantime they are always with us, never far.  We hear their voices in our minds, through their children if they had them, we see their faces echoed in others, and we are reminded that we are never alone, they are always with us.  I was once a lost soul, barely drifting through this life, yes, I was a face in the shadows, but I, like so many others, found my shining light in life, and he kept his promise, for he never truly left, as long as I always kept him with me, right where he belonged, in my heart.

A/N: sooooo?…like? Dislike?  Ready to kill me yet for killing Draco?  Comments, questions, concerns?  Hope you all enjoyed the story…I'm kinda sad to see it end.  However I will try to start another one as soon as possible, though with school this semester I don't know how well that will work…my classes are a bit more demanding than last semester…oh well. Review please! I love all the attention believe me! Tell me what you thought and what I can do different for next time.

~Kandimoon


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